a tale of a hot air ballon stalker
after dating pedro (an eccentric-former-millionaire-hot air balloon enthusiast) in NYC for longer than i should have, though not long at all- due to boredom and mystery, i guess- i decided to end the relationship to pursue another option. i took the high road. i actually called him (as opposed to giving him the FO (fadeout)) when i was safely out of NY and home in Utah for the holidays. i thanked him for a lovely/bizarre experience and told him i was going to be exclusive with my new beaux. pedro was saddened by the news but offered to take us both on a hot air balloon ride.... yes, a hot air balloon ride. apparently he owned SEVERAL hot air balloons (what next? a bag of hair? dungeons and dragons?)
me: "WHAT part of the three of us in a hot air balloon over the timpanogos mountains sounds like a good idea? SOMEBODY's going over. aaaannnnd..... i'm afraid it'll be me. no thanks."
phone message (i OBVIOUSLY screened his call) from pedro: "hey natalie *ppppsssssshshhhhhhhttttt (thats the sound of a hot air balloon firing)*, i'm right above your house! *pppppppsssssssshhhhhhhttttt* come out!!
um. ... creeeeeepy. how does he know where i live?!
||ignored||
*the very NEXT day*
i drove little sister's green bug (which had been parked outside the family homestead the previous day). as i was emerging from massage heaven @ cousin kevin's house (seriously, this man is a HEALER--ask me for details) i peer up though my crunched lashes and massage fog to see pedro HOVERING over the car in the aforementioned HOT AIR BALLOON!!!!
pedro: "HEEEEEYYYYY natalie!!!! ppppppssssshhhhhhttttttt "
me: no response. IS THIS A DREAM?!
pedro: "HEEEYYYYY ! do you want me to throw the ladder down? come UP!"
me: some sort of mumbled response like "oooh i've gotta get the car back" and a swift reach for the keys!!!!!
REALLY?!
*the day after that*
a little creeped out, i head to the hills for a ski day @ Deer Valley.... i kid you not, halfway thru the glorious powder day, someone spots the balloon HOVERING over Deer Valley.
and that's the week i was stalked by a supremely unbalanced person in a hot air balloon.
true story.
10 comments:
Wow-what a story! I LOVE the name of your blog!
This story never gets old. ever.
I just found your blog and this is the funniest, scariest thing ever! I swear in my single days I probably dated that guy, but his name was Marcus, and he was a Burger man not a balloon man and it was Boston not NYC... Weird! Incidentally I also dated the "Stallion" Mine was none to pleased about the abstaining either! Men...They may be all the same after all..
absolutely insane. Wow, what a nutjob. hilarious though.
Wow- creeeepy! I love your sisters blog and yours is just as fabulous! I get a kick out of your stories!
Natalie, write a book. Go. Now. OH.MY.GOSH!
Oh my gosh. I'm hooked. Might start stalking you in a hot air balloon. Totally kidding, don't issue a restraining order.
I CAN'T get over this!! At first I was so jealous because I'm dying to go in a hot air balloon buuuuuut then I kept reading and about died over the insanity.
Ah! This is possibly the funniest story I've ever heard! I love you and your blog...I don't know why I haven't been reading it all my life! :) -Melinda
You don't know me. I live in happy valley, Utah. I was blog stalking and found your blog and I LOVE IT! You are hella funny! I can't believe that this hot air balloon guy story is for real! Um, hope you don't mind my reading & commenting!
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