register your ex on dontdatehimgirl.com
or.....
WIN SOMETHING COOL
submit your most gruesome dating stories to moi
(by leaving it as a comment or emailing it to natalie@nataliehill.com)
and i'll pick MY top 3
*i'll post em*
YOU vote on your favorite
&
the winner gets a VERY cool NYish pressie!!!
let's dish.
very fabulous idea courtesy of miss natalie
21 comments:
yes. love it.
I was once on a date so boring, so awkward, that we went to a light show at the planetarium and I fell asleep. We were on a double with our friends who were ga-ga in love, and we couldn't even manage small talk! :( Embarrassing for me, humiliating for the boy!
I once went on a blind date with a guy who made me meet him at his house. When I showed up at his door he was just getting out of the shower. The first time I met him he was half naked. While he was getting ready his roommates showed me tapes of him riding a bull at the county fair - fascinating! He finally comes out and tells me we're going to a bon fire. (You are supposed to warn a girl so she can dress for that kind of thing!) So he puts me in his huge truck and we start making small talk. Come to find out he is majoring in anatomy so he can become a mortician "for the money." So we get to the bon fire and he basically ignores me the entire time while I sit alone. On the way home he blasted the radio so we didn't have to talk - thank goodness! Needless to say, I changed his name in my phone to "DO NOT ANSWER!"
-Holly
P.S. I love your blog!
I warn you, this is a long one! Copied and pasted from my blog:
It was my sophomore year at BYU and I was working at the school cafeteria, also known as the Cougareat. One of my coworkers, a freshman from Canada, looked uncannily like a guy I knew my freshman year. My roommate’s ex-boyfriend, actually. I had mentioned the resemblance more than once and said that I ought to set them up when he decided to ask me out instead. Helpful hint: Don’t ask out girls who talk about setting you up with their friends.
Let’s be honest, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to our date. The primary reason was that I was still writing to the guy I’d dated the year before. He was serving a two-year mission and I was only nineteen, so we’d left things pretty much up in the air. I was open to dating, but honestly probably not ready just yet. Secondly, I just wasn’t really interested in the guy. He seemed nice enough, but not really my type.
Our date didn’t begin well. He didn’t have a car and I lived about a mile from campus. So after work, I walked home to change and drop off my books, and then walked back to campus. The two-mile trek didn’t exactly have me in the mood for fun. He met me outside of his apartment building, which just happened to be my ex-boyfriend’s building from the year before. Then we walked up to his apartment, which just happened to be my ex-boyfriend’s apartment from the year before. For dinner, we cooked macaroni and cheese in the kitchen that held so many fond freshman memories. I was ready to get out of that depression-inducing environment, and fast. Phase two of our date took us to the on-campus movie theater, where Jurassic Park 2 was playing. Worst. Movie. Ever. Compounded by the fact that I spent the entire film evading my date’s not-so-subtle attempts to capture my hand.
I was relieved to get out of that situation as we walked over to a Midnight Madness event across campus. The huge crowd of people would keep me safe from first-date awkwardness, right? As it happened, no. The first person we ran into was a guy from my apartment complex. His name was Adam and he just happened to be gorgeous. I started to make my introductions: “Adam, this is Zach. Zach, Adam.” I was stopped by a cold voice. “My name isn’t Zach.” Oops! I had inadvertently called my date by my roommate’s ex-boyfriend’s name. (Did I mention that you shouldn’t ever ask out a girl who wanted to set you up with her roommate?) I apologized profusely, but received no reprieve. He barely spoke to me the rest of the night.
On our way to his brother’s apartment to borrow a vehicle to take me home, my date (I’ll be honest, I still can’t remember his name) suggested we take a shortcut. Normally I’m all for shortcuts, but this one involved jumping a chain link fence and running across a field. By this time, I wasn’t feeling particularly zany. I just wanted this nightmare of an evening to be over. I half-heartedly fought the shortcut idea, but Mr. Can’t-Just-Let-It-Go wasn’t taking no for an answer. So over the fence and across the field we went. I was actually having fun for a few short moments until we reached the fence at the other side of the field. On my way over, the top of the chain link caught my jeans pocket and rrrrrip! I now had a gaping hole in my jeans, exposing my hot-pink underpants for all the world to see. My unsympathetic date laughed at me as I held my pants together the rest of the way to his brother’s house. He drove me home and stopped in front of my apartment building. His goodnight was unforgettable:
“I’d walk you to the door, but you can’t even remember my name.”
I laughed all the way up the walkway, the cool night breeze wafting past my behind.
I once ran away to the Springville Utah Court House. Where I married my sweetheart for a few (4) months and then we decided that we (him) really didnt like each other that much so I packed my things from his moms house and called my daddy to come get me. The sad part of this story is that he came back 6 months later and we got back together for a short time. I offten look back and think how far was my head up my.... Well anyway there you go.
I LOVE Natalie Norton's photo-blog, and read her every day... She's sending us your way if we have a REALLY bad dating story - boy do I!
When I was all of 19, I worked for Holiday World (a family theme & water park here in southern Indiana). I was a lifeguard, and though our swimsuits were very modest, some of our 'fearless leaders' weren't so! Looking back, I suppose it was this 'common knowledge' that lifeguards weren't very um... modest... that may have led to me being asked out by the brother of the park's owner - we'll call him "Bob".
"Bob" owned a campground right next to Holiday World, and sometimes they would recruit a couple of lifeguards from Holiday World to help out over there, and I happened to be one of the selected early that summer. I had a lovely time there for the most part, but a few weeks into filling in over there was the beginning of my worst dating story EVER.
It was when I had to 'check out' for the afternoon this particular day, that "Bob" was the only one in the building. He told me to come in to his office and he'd get me checked out. I thought, OK - no big deal. And it wasn't until I got back over to the Holiday World employee office to turn in my card... And I got a phone call right then and there. It's quite rare for ANYONE to get personal phone calls from the employee office, so I was a bit worried at first - then heard the voice on the other end was that of "Bob's"! He wanted to see if he could get my cell phone number. Since it's almost impossible for me to say "no" of coarse I gave it to him.
He and I talked my entire ride home (about 45 minutes) and I decided that he wasn't too bad a guy after all. I knew he was just a bit older, but maybe that meant more mature (I hopefully thought...) We even decided to go out on a 'date' later that week.
The next day I came to work as usual, and somehow my news of talking with "Bob" had spread like wildfire - that's when I really found out what "Bob" was like...
I knew he was well off & older, but that was about it. Apparently, he'd dated MANY young lifeguards and he was quite the ladies man. No one exactly knew his age, but was supposedly 'older than he looked.' He was divorced or going through a divorce, and had 2 kids. And if he took you out on a date, word was that he 'expected something in return.' Not from this girl he wasn't!
I decided that if he still go out on the date, but he'd have to pick me up at my parents. He agreed to do so, without question. He and my Dad really hit it off too, car & sports talking - looking back, it makes sense... They were right at the same age! My Dad was 43 & "Bob" was 37.
We went out on our 'date' to Evansville and though he was nice as could be, there were too many things that just didn't really go in his favor that night. He didn't want to seem to leave the restaurant, and left a very mediocre tip when we finally did leave. Then I noticed him giving me a 'look' than can only be described as gross. He was literally undressing me with his eyes! YUCK!
Then he took me go-cart racing where he decided that we could squeeze into one cart. We played some games afterward and he kept 'accidentally' dropping quarters. And while he was picking them up, trying to steal glances up my knee-length skirt. Super creepy. I didn't have the guts to call him out on it though, and just ended up 'feeling really tired' all of a sudden and asked to be taken back home.
He did take me home, and only briefly tried to make out. He stopped pretty quickly after he realized that was wasn't going to stop turning my cheek away from him. I vowed to never go out with "Bob" again.
So, though he was a nightmare of a date, the only thing that left lasting regrets was that my Mom called me "pretty woman" for months and hummed the song at me whenever she got the chance - guess I deserved it though for dating a guy like that!
Thanks for hosting such a fun contest and thank you for letting me participate!!! I may just have to use this as inspiration for a blog post of my own! Much love to you and yours, take care and God Bless
Once upon a time, I was set up on a blind date by some good friends. We started off by going to dinner, which was fine. The conversation was easy and I was having an okay time. After dinner, my date tells me that we are going rollerskating at Classic Skating. Hello junior high flash back. I'm thinking to myself that this could be really interesting since I haven't been in oh like 8 years!
Anywho, we get to Classic and as we are walking in my date proceeds to tell me that his ex-girlfriend works there and that he hopes she is there because he wants to make her jealous. What the "H!" Are you kidding me. Major turn-off.
Once inside, we get our skates and while I'm putting mine on, he says, "Well, I'm gonna go skate around. At which point, he takes off and leaves me sitting there alone. Can we say AWESOME! Who is this jack a?
Basically, I spent most of the evening trying not to fall on my face and skating alone. Needless to say, I didn't talk much on the way home and he never called again.
Once I had a date with a medical student. Only one with this guy. He came over and we had planned to watch a movie. He showed up with a bottle of something alcoholic (I don't drink) and no movie. He proceeded to have a couple of drinks, asked me if I had any STDs and then started undressing himself. Seriously. When I told him to put his pants on, he was like, "It's okay. You can undress too. I'm going to be a doctor." Really. When he realized it wasn't happening, he said, "You didn't invite me over here for sex, did you?"
Me: "Nope." Thinking, "I sure hope you aren't planning a career as a brain surgeon. You'll never make it." (He ended up doing family practice.)
Then he tried another approach. Him: "Well, I wouldn't have sex with you even if you DID want to." Me: "Really?"
Him: "That's right. I wouldn't. Know why? Cuz I'm a virgin, and I love my wife, and I'm saving it for her."
Me: "Your wife? Now I'm confused. You're married?"
Him: "No. But someday I'm planning to be, and I'm saving it for then."
Me: "Oh. That's good. You should save it for then."
Him: "But doesn't that make you want me? That I'm a virgin and you can't have me?" Yes. He really said that.
Me: "Nope. I think it's great that your saving yourself and I'd never try to take that away from you."
He left shortly after that. Thank goodness.
When I was a sophomore I decided to go to BYU-Hawaii for the summer as a visiting student. Everything was going great in paradise until I met Steve (real name removed). Steve seemed charming at first. Harmless, really. Steve lived next door to some friends of mine and had fun roommates and quite frankly, fun was all I was looking for during my short stay. Well Steve got my number and Steve started to call about two times a day..... creeper. Eventually I ran out of excuses as to why we could not go out so one night when he asked me out I accepted. He followed it up with, "great! I'll pick you up at eleven." I then said, "Eleven? Eleven when? Who goes on a date at eleven?" Steve then said, "Oh, eleven at night. I've got something special planned."
So the next evening I was at my friend's house feeling pretty tired as ten o'clock approached. Everyone was going to sleep (considering there is no night life in Laie, Hawaii) so I thought I would take a little nap. I called Steve beforehand and told him I would be next door so pick me up there. About eleven thirty there is a knock at the door (which woke me up) and I stumbled to the door. As I opened it, what did I see? Steve. Steve completely decked out with his infamous dragon sunglasses on. IT'S ELEVEN THIRTY AT NIGHT. WHY DO YOU HAVE SUNGLASSES ON? He then says, "Hey girl. Dang! You lookin' smokin' hot tonight." What the!I just woke up! A: there's no way I look "smokin hot" and B: What is with the sunglasses?!
After we got in the car, I asked where we were going and he said, "Where else, Honolulu. Duh." Nevermind the fact that Honolulu is about forty five minutes away. When we got to Honolulu we went to the delicious breakfast joint called Eggs and Things. Only problem it was now about 12:30 AM. As I sat there trying to stuff pancakes in my mouth at midnight Steve proceeded to tell me the life story of Chief Kamehameha for the next hour and a half. He also told me how good he is at surfing. Radical.
After that I thought we would head home, but nope, good old Steve took me up to Honolulu look out point. How romantic. Thanks. I definitely know what you want. So we sat there awkwardly in the car for about fifteen minutes while he told me how rich his dad is and then I said, "let's get out." He said, "why do you want to get out? What are we going to do outside?" I tried to play it off and said, "It's Hawaii, what do you do inside?" So we got out and he just stood there completely frustrated that I didn't want to sit in the car and "talk".
After we left and headed home, good old Steve asked me, "so where do you see this going?" I said, "where do I see what going?" He said, "this. you know, you and I?" I was so shocked that I said, "um, yeah I am going to have to sleep on that." I then faked super tired even though I was in super shock and fell asleep for the rest of the ride home. As he dropped me off he said, "I'll call you tomorrow girl. (with a little head nod). I am really pumped on you." Terrified. I was terrified.
As my luck would have it I was leaving to Kauai to visit a friend two days later. Only problem, I needed a ride to the airport. Who do I know with a car that would most definitely give me a ride?. . . . STEVE. So Steve gave me a ride to the airport and the second I get out of the car and Steve pulls away I get a text from Steve. The following is the text conversation we had:
Steve: girl, why you be hatin' on me?
Me: I'm not. Thanks for the ride.
Steve: I just don't get it. I thought the other night went really well. I talked to your friends and they said you didn't really say anything. So what do you call the other night then?
Me: What do you mean? I call the other night a date.
Steve: Yeah, well I thought things went really well.
Me: It was fun, it was fine. I didn't know we were having a DTR
Steve: Well I just don't know what you want. You are so hard to read.
Me: Listen, I am here for two months. Do you think I am going to get into some kind of relationship?
Steve: Girl, I'm just playin' the game like a playa. You think I want you as my girlfriend, I'm just lookin' to pass go you know? Just lookin' for a hook up.
Me: You got the wrong girl. Game over. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Thanks for the ride.
Needless to say I had to find a different ride back to Laie when I returned. And that was the end of that.
horrifying story, beware!
A guy I had been dating off and on for about a year FAKE proposed to me. On my birthday. In front of his family. After I just drove 5 hours to spend MY birthday with him. (The jerk wouldn't even come to ME for MY birthday.) so there i sit, in front of his whole family while he proposes and then tells me he was kidding, the whole thing is a joke. Needless to say, it wasn't my favorite birthday.
My friend and I went to a football game, where this guy wouldn't leave me alone about how he wanted my number. Then when he called me, he told me that he wanted to get together for a date but since it was snowing really hard, he wanted me to drive to him.
He also wanted to meet me at Chucka Rama for the date. Needless to say I wasn't that impressed, but oh no, that isn't all. He then told me he wanted me to bring my friend on the date too. He said it was a dream of his to date two sorority girls at once. Um no, no, and no. I told him, that we weren't interested and to never call me again.
The funny thing is that you would expect the guy to look like Brad Pitt the way he was acting. I was a little hesitant to give him my number in the first place because there really wasn't any chemistry and he wasn't that cute to me. But I thought instead of shrugging him off that I should give it a chance. Big mistake. True Story.
(I wonder if he ever got a girl and her friend on the same date.)
Well.....where to begin? As I have dipped my toes into the internet dating pool....I have experienced some entertaining, if not frightening dates. Here's a sample:
-A guy who seemed nice at first and then wanted me to describe how I would cuddle with him. It got a little too graphic for me and I told him I felt uncomfortable. He told me "I just didn't understand". He also made this phone call at 4 am. Thank goodness we never met in person.
-A deaf guy that spanked me as I was walking up the stairs in front of him on our first date. No more dates with this guy.
-An Australian ballroom dancer who proposed to me after a week of chatting and then proceeded to get a 14 year old student of his pregnant.
-An excommunicated guy who proceeded to try to kiss me after I flat out told him I didn't want to kiss him.
-A really nice guy who had tourettes
Needless to say....I have taken a break from such nonsense. They'll make some great stories to tell my grandkids though. :)
My worse date ever has to be the time that my grandparents decided that they found a perfect guy for me and that we must go out on a date.... and what can I say it was my grandparents i couldn't say no to them!
Well the guy called and we set up a date for the next week and he told me he would be taking me to jump on it (a place with a billion trampolines) this would honestly be super fun if I wasn't very much injured and not allowed to jump on trampolines, or really do much of anything to be honest. Well, I told him this, but to my surprise he took me there any ways!
When we got there I saw a sign on the door that said that it was closed for a private party, but much to my surprise we were part of this "private party." We go in and i soon realize that he has taken me on a date to his singles ward activity! I didn't even go to my own singles ward activities, let alone someone else's. so not only did I meet him, I also got to meet his bishop/ young men leader, more fresh off the mission awkward boys and all the leaders wives, on the very first date! Even though i told him earlier that I really can't jump on tramps, when we were there he still expected me to be able to jump! Not only did he expect me to jump he kept bouncing me, which would send severe pain through my back and neck! The only nice thing about this place was that I could attempt to bounce away from him!
Well after the tramp part, came the eating and mingling with the ward part. Let's just say the conversation went a little something like this.... " is that all you are going to eat?" then I would say "yes" but I am thinking "yes, in fact I don't really even want to eat this cold pizza but I have to because I am being forced to by all of these strangers around me." and then he would bring something up like "so what is your heritage?" my thoughts "honesty?! my heritage!...... I have gotten by 19 years without knowing my heritage.... um I don't know, make something up, make a guess...but honestly my heritage?!" Oh he also filled out a form right in front of me that asked when he wanted to be married and he put ASAP! So lesson for all guys out there, when on a first date do not introduce her to your bishop and do not tell her how soon you want to be married!
So instead of just taking me home so I can load up on pain pills, he decides that we must now go to a dollar movie. Well long story short he kept his arm around my chair the whole time even though I was leaning away from him!
He finally took me home, where he did not walk me to my door (which as all girls know is a big no no on their part). Let's just say the pain I went through on this date did not end there, but I had to be on Loritab/perquisites for the next couple of days + some more intense physical therapy also!
in college i met a guy through a "hot or not" site(i'm sooooooooo not stupid like that anymore!). his picture was really cute but when i opened my front door i noticed that he had a dead, blackish-gray front tooth. definitely not there in his picture! he took me to a middle school basketball game to watch his parent's friend's daughter play basketball. he wanted me to come to his house after that but i said i had too much studying to catch up on. and he never seemed to get the hint when i screened his phone calls!
As a favor to a friend of mine, I agreed to go out with his older brother on a date. He was afterall, a return missionary and how bad could it get?
So. He picked me up in his oh-so-ever long 1960's Cadillac and we were off to dinner and the Chicago concert. During dinner we made small talk and I begin to catch on that something was just not right with this fella. On the way to the concert he asked me what time I had to be home. I answered honestly and said midnight. He then asked, "What if I don't want to take you home at midnight? What if I want to take you home at one in the morning?" I told him my dad would probably be up waiting and be pretty angry. He asked what would happen if he didn't take me home until 2...and then 3...and so on and so on. Then, the real killer, "What if I decided I didn't want to take you home at all? What if I decided to tie you up in my basement and KEEP YOU FOR MYSELF?!" I honestly looked at the speedometer and wondered if it would be suicide to jump out of the moving car....
I somehow managed to live through the night, but the guy was convienantly everywhere I was for the next week, even my work. My boss finally had "some words" with him and he began to leave me alone.
Seriously...a NUT case!!!
So I had just been complaining on the phone to my mom about how I couldn't remember the last time I went on a date with someone I was acutally excited about (and I am not an overly picky person) when my sister calls.
She says,"I'm really sorry, and I have never done this before, but I gave your number to a guy today. I was out and about picking up something from a client for work, and there was a younger guy helping me at the front desk. Apparently his parents own the business, and he is working there while in college. He was SOOO nice and totally good looking AND is on the baseball team and I know how much you love baseball, and he is taller than you (I am a tall girl and had had enough dates with munchkins)and the whole time I just kept thinking how TOTALLY perfect you guys would be together. So I gave him your number and he will be calling you. Hope you're not mad!"
Well, if it was anyone else, I probably would have been bugged. But my older sister and I shared much more than DNA (clothes, accessories, sense of humor, etc) so I figured I trusted her more than anyone else when it came to setting me up. So after looking up his picture on the baseball webpage and getting really excited (she was right; he WAS really cute!) he finally called a couple weeks later.
We talk on the phone for a few minutes and he seems very personable, and says, "Hey I know it's a school night, but why don't I come by so we can at least meet each other, and I'll take you to this really great little hot chocolate place I know of." Sounded great to me, so I get all ready and listen for the doorbell. Instead, I hear the phone ring. I answer it. It's him, and he says, "hey. I don't want to find a place to park, so why don't you just come outside. I'm in a truck." Keep in mind I had NEVER met the guy in person before. I thought this was odd, and my roommates were totally disgusted, but whatever. So I get in his truck, and he proceeds to drive downtown, not saying too much. After driving around a little, he says he can't remember where the hot chocolate place is, so he takes me to the gas station. Yep. The gas station. We get hot chocolate at the gas station and he is ready to take me back home.
On the way back he talks more than he had previously and tells me how totally cool my sister is, and how he looked down at her hand while they were talking at the store and was bummed to see she was wearing a wedding ring. (What would YOU say to that???) Then he turns up the music and says, "5 bucks if you know who this is." I didn't know who it was, and I guessed, "John Mayer." I was wrong, of course, and he was totally disgusted. He didn't talk much until we got to my apartment. He DID decide to park this time, and came up to my apartment. He sprawled out on the couch so other people had to sit on the floor and talked to my roommates the entire time. Then he stands up and says, "I better jet; I've got homework" and leaves. Never heard from this winner again.
My first clue should have been that my MOTHER set this blind date up for me. I honestly didn't want to go, and only went to keep the peace at home. (And, by the way, I am not making ANY of this up.)
My oh-so-charming date took me to a disgusting little restaurant which he told me he'd picked because he had a 2-for-1 coupon and he didn't want to spend that much money on me. He spent the entire dinner wolfing down his cheap pasta with all the manners of a pig nosing through is slop, not listening to a word I said, and talking only enough to rudely explain why his high school choir was better than my high school choir. This was about three years AFTER high school, by the way.
After that fabulous meal, we went to the Games Center at BYU to go bowling. I beat him handily, which I never would have done had I not hated his guts, but I did, so I did. He was so mad about losing that he suggested we play pool instead, because he was sure that he would beat me. Again I schooled him. Twice. At this point he wasn't talking to me anymore - which was fine - except to ask if I was ready to go home. It was 10:00pm.
Surprisingly, he did walk me to my door, and when I said, "Maybe I'll see you around sometime," just to be nice, he said, "I don't think so." He then turned on his heel and stormed to his car. I went inside laughing my head off, and my mom has never lived this disaster date down. Incidentally, that was the last time she ever set one of her children up on a blind date.
I've some how found your blog through friends of friends, and once i saw Mormon in Manhattan i knew i was already obsessed. My date: He took me to Starbucks. Said my name for me when I was ordering...not my real name of course..but 'greasy pants'. I was so shocked and quick to feel self conscious, later he told me its because I am a 'smooth talker' [oh ok, nice...?] THEN we go on a drive. We park at the top of this mountain over looking the valley. Im thinking make out sesh, gross...He pops in a cassette tape. Probably some stupid mood setting music. To what I hear is the voice of John Bytheway [good Mormon speaker] and there we sat for a good 45 listening to the words of a holy man. It was quite the date!
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