2.19.2009

the brain-squeezer


dear friends,

i'm hoping this won't offend (i understand we all have different taste)
.... we're friends, right?
you like me for my honesty, no?

ok....

upon returning to the U.C. (utah county), i have witnessed an alarming new trend:

the giant brain squeezer


turns out, otherwise stylish mommies squeeze their children's growing noggins into these horribly uncomfortable looking flower bouquets.

why?!?!

what happened to the days when babies were allowed to be bald?!

if that ludicrous bow/flower on your child's headband is bigger
than her face.......you've gone too far.

if the size of the bow on her head exceeds the bows on the packages neath your tree....
you need help

trust me.
nothing is more precious than a beautiful un-bedazzled/headbanded baby.

as a child whose baby pictures spanned the 80's, i'm no stranger to bizarre baby trends.... however....
motie never stooped so low as to plant a GIANT FLOWER on my tiny head.
my brain was for growing ideas... not plastic flowers.

*the only way i can possibly justify this tacky trend is if your child is so horrifyingly hard- to- look- at that you desperately need a distraction from its angelic face.

please.
let's stop the madness.

your baby will thank me.

83 comments:

Kika+Trevor said...

Oh this was GREAT! I am 3 weeks away from delivering and it's a girl, and a few people have given me a couple of headbands but no giant flowers... not into that at all! I am hoping for a hairy baby, hope that's cute enough :)

Ali-bell said...

haha, so true! the funny thing is, that I keep seeing these things on Etsy & thinking 'ooh, big flower headband, I want it' then realising that it's made for babies... oops!

Anne said...

Amen!!!

Melanie said...

No Kidding! We had friends come up here for the summer from Utah and their poor baby was ALWAYS wearing one of those. (She even had a white puff of fur attached to a headband. I couldn't understand it at all . . . it's so not the trend here.

But as I'm a photographer, she put her poor baby in SEVERAL of those for the photos!! Yikes!

I made her take it off for some of the photos, but . . . well, see for yourself
http://melanietemplemanphoto.blogspot.com/search/label/A%20Year%20of%20Firsts

Liz said...

These are the worst things EVER. I had a few of the "regular" headbands given to me, but I never put my daughter in them. I think the giant flower along with it is mom's way of shouting, "This is a girl, not a boy".

Brooke Rane said...

FINALLY! someone writes a post knocking those hideous things!! i've been seeing these on the round of blogs of people from my hometown out west and WHAT THE HECK?! they are awful. and moms just can't get enough of these, too. i heard thru the grapevine that somehow this trend got started by something seen on sex and the city....

naomi megan. said...

haha. josh made me promise when we were dating that if and when we had babies i wouldn't become victim to those horrific headbands for baby.

...speaking of headbands... give me your address woman. i'm assuming headbands on adults are still ok, yes? i mean, i'll try to refrain from sending you my favorite one which is similar to the photo you posted. (just kidding. so just kdding.)

Cara said...

They are awful.

emily said...

I'm DYING! I only have boys so I haven't been tempted by the giant brain squeezer, thank goodness.

Dani said...

When I was prego with my daughter I thought these were the worst monstrosities ever! Then I had my daughter and I couldn't resist! Granted the flowers/bows I use are much smaller for the most part. I've seen some bows that rival some planets in our solar system! That's ridiculous. I mean i guess if you have a not so cute baby and your want to spare the innocent eyes of the people around you........

Brittany said...

look at me go! back to back comments! but i had to - those things are awful. something had to be said!

Julie said...

Very funny...and true.

abby said...

THANK YOU!

Kate McNeil said...

oh my gosh, thank you for this. terrible trend indeed.

jess said...

i've been lurking for a while, and this one i had to comment on... as an out-of-stater myself i nearly choked on my own spit when i walked into church here in happy valley and saw giant flowers growing out of otherwise adorable little heads. what is the deal? is it some sort of contest to see who can make their kid look more ridiculous? all i can say is i'm sooo grateful for my boys!

Jaime said...

So we just moved back to Manhattan from outer Queens, and my first Sunday at church there must have been 5 babies with these crazy things on. I couldn't figure it out. Now it all makes sense. . .

Autumn said...

Amen!

Liv said...

I think this is my first time commenting...? I dunno. But I just had to today.

I agree. Headbands are for keeping HAIR out of one's face. If one does not have hair, then no band is needed, yes?

Katie said...

I could not agree with you more! Bless your heart for living in UC. It can be quite....annoying at times!

j. said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hate the big bows!! hate, hate, hate them!

Ryan, Melissa and Addy said...

My sentiments, exactly! I have discussed this exact thing with my husband on many occasions. I DO NOT get this trend, everyone has their baby wearing these things. Not just in Utah, it's hideous! Like you said, unless your kid is just totally ugly and you're trying to distract from their face by putting a giant flower on their head, it just shouldn't be done! Thank you for addressing this important topic!

Bekah: said...

So If I disagree with you will you still post my comment?

I am guilty of "planting" upon my little sweetheart's head. And although everything you said is hilarious I still think it is adorable. There is something about an oversized flower on her cute little head that makes me swoon.

Brooke said...

thank you for so elequently stating my thoughts. i disagree on one thing though - unfortuantely this is not a NEW trend. this has be going on far too long and it's not only restricted to baby's headbands. what about all the moms who try to look like their 16 yr old daughters? ah u.c, there's no place like it.

Codi said...

I am from UC. I have two girls. When they were babies they may have gotten mistaken for a boy from time to time, but I say better that than a flower garden or birthday present!

J said...

i am a blog lurker and i just HAD to comment on this post. these things are hideous. my sister thinks they are adorable and i just don't understand it; and i grew up in the UC! it is just mean, and i appreciate you bringing this terrible abuse to light!

careymc said...

AGREED!!! (hilarious, thank you:)

andrea said...

I blame Anne Geddes.

I have flower clips for my girls.....but they aren't bigger than their heads, and they are clips to accompany a cute ponytail, not attached to a brain squeezer.

Chelsea said...

i love them and think they're great! What most people don't realize is that the headband part is often made out of nylons or tights and REALLY stretchy so it doesn't squeeze any poor li'l head. also, it's nice to have them be interchangeable from a bow to a flower to whatever. It's never fun when your child is mistaken for a boy (i've called a few girls boys in the past few months). A headband on a baby girl is like frosting on a cake!

Plus, I'd so much rather see things like this than any of those GOSH AWFUL hats. Some claim they're to keep the sun off, but whatev! they're just uggo.

Susy said...

I have a few things to agree with you on this subject but need to come back and post...but let's just say I'm with you on this one!

Lindsee said...

I was a bald baby. All the babies in my family are bald. My little niece sports the headbands (not out of control, mind you). She is 1 and a half now and has half grown in hair. The headband helps hide her baby mullet for the time being. Point: They aren't all bad, but I do agree if the flower is bigger than her head, it's a no-no.

Brooke said...

I disrupted sacrament meeting with a fit of giggles when a woman walked her flower headed baby out and the old guy behind me mumbled under his breath "looks like that kid's wearing a satellite dish on her head".

Miss Wendy said...

I couldn't agree with you more!!!! I love your blog my dear, you are hilarious!

Lindsey said...

LOVE IT! ha ha ha... oh that is so great!

shugee (ashley) said...

Oh my goodness. Thank you. MY dad has taught HIS five daughters that he won't hold a baby wearing a headband monstrosity. I do think those little tiny bows you stick on a newborn's head with corn syrup look adorable, though.

Our Family said...

I have to disagree :( Sorry. My little girl is 20 months now and is just starting to get some hair!! The headband is made out of really comfy material. (Nylon) I think they are great if you have a bald baby.

Chad and Lisa said...

I completely agree. When I was pregnant, I had to set a three-inch diameter flower rule for my sister-in-law. Thankfully we had a boy.

Kara Hill said...

hahahahahah and that is the most PERFECT picture!! That flower is outrageous! Poor baby, no one's looking at it! Hallelujah Natalie, hallelu! You are a brave soul..

dubya said...

AMEN. have thought this since the moment I saw the first one. there is no excuse justifiable enough in my mind for making your child look like the spawn of an anne gedies picture.

Now I have no problems with small tasteful, proportionate bows or clips every now and again. But if that thing is half the size of the child's face, and they're wearing a different one every day it's just ridiculous!

Jacqueline said...

Oh my goodness, I've loved your blog for awhile now and just had to write in complete agreement. Those headbands drive be bananas!

Bailey said...

I think the majority of the population agrees with you on this one. I am most certainly one of them. I firmly believe in having hair accessories that are proportionate to the child's head and NO head bands. Poor kids.

Alice Wills Gold said...

I love the honesty...especially because I agree whole heartedly...and my opinion matters HUGE...I have three daughters + one in the oven.

God must agree too because he keeps giving my hubby just girls....My hubby was always known to remove whatever headband or hat I had placed on the babies' heads...he would always tell me how uncomfortable they were....and that was in the day of the normal size headband without the HUMONGOUS plastic gerber daisy.

Life is good! said...

you know how we Mormons are- if there is an empty space we always have to fru-fru it up!

Cherry Blossoms said...

I have a little girl and actually started a hair accessories business because I hated all the other hair accessories out there (tacky, and uncomfortable!)...now I must say that I am guilty of selling a few rather large flowers on my headbands but other than that I think mine are pretty simple and elegant. Check them out and let me know what you think (if you get a chance!)...I always like feedback...
www.CherryBlossomsBaby.com

chelsea said...

Thank you SO much! It needed to be said.

Lyndsey said...

I TOTALLY agree. It is so annoying. They are EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

Andrea said...

ha ha. I can't stop laughing my head off right now. every time I go back to utah i think the same thing. glad you said it.

Colleen said...

Another lurker coming out of hiding just to say, AMEN sista. And I LOL'd at Brooke's satellite dish comment. :D

Just Thinking said...

I would have to say ALOT of people like them or there wouldn't be so many people puting them on their childrens heads. Most people that disagree with you would read this and let in go not wanting to ruffle feathers or they are trend followers and now instantly have change ther minds.

I agree they can get to be over kill and way too big. BUT in a modest size they are quite cute. Also fourtunately the right kinds do not squeeze the head. I'm wondering if some comenters are jaded by only having boys maybe jealous. Or maybe by people who don't have kids and are spouting about things they have no experience with.

I'm a little miffed by how snooty the commenters are on this one.

If the parents think they are cute and want to dress up thier kiddos great! Aren't their worse things? Like parents that don't even try.

I would rather look at a baby with a silly too big headband than children with messy uncombed hair and dirty faces!(I see it everywhere!) To each his own. The most important thing is that the children are loved and given lots of time and care. People can do what they want. I'll dress mine in my own taste and how I think they look best.

I think people should follow trends less and be themselves more. Individuality is refreshing.

If I say God bless you will you forgive me for being so bold?

You are amazing and wonderful from what I can tell. I was just surfing and came across your blog and wanted to give my thoughts.

brittany said...

I agree with all of the pro-headbanders.

I like the headbands... my husband was born with ears that stuck out and the doctor said he'd either have to have surgery when he was older, or that his mom could have him wear a sports band or something around his head. she did this, and he says he is very grateful. My little girl has one ear that sticks out a bit, and wearing the headband really helps! Plus, i think she looks absolutely darling.

paula said...

Holy cow-this is a HOT topic! Look at all the comments...who would have ever thought people were so passionate and opinionated about accessories for babies?

Natalie* said...

i'm sort of loving the passion everybody has for this topic.....

and loving that the majority is in my favor!

eRiCa said...

HERE HERE! I call them brain squeezers too. I never understood why girls do this...seriously!

Susy said...

We as lds mommies think that we need to keep up with the next baby Jones-es! I think this is just one of those trends....Really I haven't seen too many babies here in Vegas, (unless at church), wearing those overgrown daisy's! I have a friend who had all her little girls dress to the nines every Sunday....Well one day being so consumed with making her girls look like all the other little girls in her ward she put them in all there pretty dresses, however she forgot to put panties on them!
I think the lesson learned here is if using those flowers. Remember to put there diapers on!

Susy said...

Okay forgive my last post and all it's grammatical errors!

christy said...

We've always called them "Brain Braces". I am not a fan either. I have 3 girls and have never had any wear them (and I do try to have my girls groomed and look cute). I always thought I was really out of it for disliking the look.

Hendrickson Family said...

i have a boy, but when i have a girl i will put (not huge) these on her head. i think they are adorable. see here: katiewellsphotography.com

Emily said...

This is your most popular post by far and so true! ha! say no to the brain squeezer!

Kristy Lynne Sevy said...

THANK YOU!!!
I love your blog!! Highly entertaining.

P.S. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P.S. said...

A friend made me delete my above comment-she said it was "not nice."

The jist of it was: they are heinous, get rid of them now if you have them. Thank you MIM for posting this, it needed to be addressed.

Bonny said...

I 100% agree with you! Thanks for saying it!

also known as shell said...

look at everyone coming out of the wood work on this one ;)

Scott, Rachel, & Mason Murray said...

I couldn't agree with you more!!

daisyray said...

I so agree!!! My little babe is so cute that big plastic flowers pale in comparison and will never adorn her head. The closest I came was her halloween costume, but it only accented that cute little face.

Kellie said...

I don't have any for my baby girl, but would love one because everyone and their freakin' dog say, "Oh what a cute boy!" I'm tired of hearing it after 9 months. She's always dressed in girly clothes, has a pink car seat, and girly blankets, but it doesn't seem to matter. I wonder if I bought one of those hideous flower things if someone would get her gender right. . . .

Shewinn8 said...

So glad to hear that! I so agree! The first time I saw a child wearing one of those many years ago before they stuck HUGE flora on top and looked like a big bandage, I thought, Oh poor baby she has had brain surgery and she is just an infant. My favorite is when it pops off of a big headed baby and you can see the elastic marks imprinted on the babies head. And what does the mother do?? Puts it back on! I want to run out and buy one for the parent that will cause equal suffering.

beck said...

ya! i HATE thise huge things on babies heads!

Brenda said...

Aw, I actually like those! They weren't in when my now seven year old girl was an infant and I wish they were! Because, no offense, babies are well, not always cute. In fact, most look like shriveled up old men. And who wants their little girl to look like an old man anyhow?

Amy said...

Ha! You are obviously not from the south, then? Down here we are into BIG BOWS.I mean BIG, honey. I am not happy unless that bow is half the size of my daughter's head!!

Ali said...

So funny all the thousands of opinionated comments that I have to leave my 2 cents.
There will always be trends, to each his own, and don't judge unless your in the same situation. whereas you don't have a little girl I don't think you know exactly how you'd feel when you get to that stage, maybe your gonna dress her in "new york trends that a lot of people out west are gonna think are hideous" *like a lot of the 80's clothes and styles that are all the rage. Everyone's different and everyone sees and likes different things so it was a little mean for you to post such a negative post especially since your looked at as an example of a mormon, yet your kinda doing a little mormon culture hating. I understand it's your own opinion but really what were you hoping to accomplish with this? rid all the world of the headbands? Or just to make some people feel bad and for you to say that what you think and like is better than what they like? just my 2cents.

Natalie* said...

ali,

thanks for your two cents.

i'd like to address a few points you have made:

because i don't have a child, i'm not allowed an opinion on style?

ridiculous, love.

just because i'm not a man, does that mean i can't have an opinion about sports?

i'm not telling you how to parent. i'd never do that... though i DO have opinions about that....

but THIS is my blog. THIS place houses MY opinion and if i don't understand a trend, this is MY place to express it... i don't need to suffer a birth to be entitled to it.

we all have different personal styles...naturally, my style will influence the way i dress my children.

WHY should everyone dress their children the same way?

i may be mormon, but that does not mean im not allowed to have an opinion....

notice that i NEVER used the word mormon in that post. never.
plenty of people of other faiths put brain-squeezers on their children...it's not just a mormon epidemic. NOR did i ever express it to be.

i think the fact that SO many people have come out of lurk-dom to comment in the affirmative proves that mothers and non-mothers alike agree with me.

sorry it offended you.

Ali said...

Natalie, I'm sorry my last comment was a little mean, I wish I hadn't said anything, I didn't even have my girl wear the headbands. (geez!) I only had hoped to point out to you that when you have a girl your opinions or style may change (not that you couldn't have an opinion) and I didn't understand why you posted a negative post when it surely would hurt some people's feelings to have such a gorgeous stylish woman point out that she thought something they liked was horrific and that they shouldn't do it. I did realize that you didn't mention mormon but saying going to Utah and than noticing the trend put it in kinda the light that it's the mormons doing it the most, and some of the comments refered to it more, I just hate to have any more bad light shined on "the mormons" (as in were brainwashed sheep) Your such an example and a lot of people look up to you and watch you I just wanted to point out that even though this is your blog and you can say whatever you want to on it People are watching you and I do think you are doing a great job, and your a great person. Like I said before I'm sorry my post was a little mean and negative I just really felt for the people that love those headbands and actually put their daughters in them and even though we do have a right to say stuff some of those comments were pretty harsh. Anyways sorry again keep up the amazing blog.

King Family said...

is there room for one more comment? wow. as a mother of almost 4 and 2 of them daughters i admit i have fallen into the peer pressure involved with making my girls look fab with all kinds of accessories. both of my daughters as babies were blonde and bald and they did get mistaken for boys quite a bit. but after trying a failing i learned that although i don't know if the brain squeezers hurt your child medically, i don't know of 1 baby that LIKES them. fact is you don't have to be a mom or even a very intelligent person to watch a baby with one on and know they are uncomfortable. right on natalie!
ps natalie is my go to girl for mom advice...that's right, she is the voice of reason when my mothering instincts are too emotional. it is nice to have a friend bring me to earth. you don't have to be a mother to be a wise outside observer.
pps i think it is okay to laugh at ourselves (as mormons) if you don't you'll go crazy. we are not mocking our religion, just our culture and believe you me there is a HUGE difference.
THE END OF MY NOVEL
keep them coming nat!

Bethany said...

I agree with Ang. With my first daughter, she was born with a head full or hair and I was able to do twists and little pigtails at two months old!

With our little Nora, though - she is the only baby of mine to be born with very fine hair, and to lose some of it, too. I admit to trying the headbands with her. I didn't know what to do! She pulled them into her eyes, and they turned out to be more of a headache (for both of us, I'm sure!) than it was worth.

She's now still very fine-haired, but I don't bother with hair accessories. Pink clothes, blankets, pretties, and her beautiful face do the job of identifying her gender just fine.

Love you, Nat.

Robyn said...

These comments are SO FUNNY. Thanks for the laugh. I can't believe how serious some of them are taking your post. Don't be offended peeps. You can like them even if the poster doesn't. RELAX and take a deep breath. I do have a little girl, and not one bow, gigantic gerber daisy or the like donned her head. Didn't want to deal with her taking it off every second. If you like HUGE stuff on your little girls head, rock on. But don't be hatin' because you call out on it!

engemann said...

I also respect others taste however, you will not see my future daughters in these.

Nichole said...

i intensely dislike when people say you should not express your opinion. we read blogs for OPINIONS! there is nothing wrong with criticism and your post was not at all mean.

let's all stop being so PC and take a stand and make our voices heard.

that being said...i have no opinion of the brain squeezers. i call them brain squeezers and if i find a cute one and if i'm lucky enough to have a girl baby next, i'll probably put one on.

keep bloggity bloggin' it!

Cardin McKinney said...

I just had this same conversation with my bf 3 days ago. WHY large cauliflower on a perfectly beautiful baby's head? Why? That's all I want to know. Why. Were you really hoping to give birth to a garden-nymph?

C ♥ said...

I for one think they are stinkin adorable.

Bows, flowers, tutu's, 'white puffs'

All of it.

I'm in love.

Shelby Mae said...

not gonna lie, i like it.

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Unknown said...

I prefer a small bow stuck to the head as a feminie touch. How do you get a bow to stick on your baby's head you ask? GIRLIE GLUE! Best stuff ever! lasts all day and it is all natural! Comes off easily too! I LOVE the stuff!

Darcey said...

Haha I totally agree! I think there were more babies wearing giant flowers when you wrote this but I still see a lot of them on Etsy and in stores. My first baby girl is due in 5 weeks (I have a little boy) and I've been having a hard time find really cute, tasteful, tiny bows and flowers. I'm pretty much just making them all myself - nothing bigger than 2", preferably closer to 1" for a newborn!