i've had many a request to go toe-to-toe with "peter priesthood" @
why mormon girls stay single over a myriad of issues.

while i've thought long and hard about his possible war, i'm not really interested in going tit-for-tat with a cyber geek who is often hilarious, misguided, irreverent,
and sometimes totally correct.
will i be sparking a dungeons and dragons duel?

i will, however, chat with you about a serious cultural issue in the
"mormon dating scene." please understand that i'm not complaining-i'm ok.
this gal is just observing...

why don't mormon men date?

i have had the awesome luxury to go on many dating adventures
(with men of and of not my faith). i'm a lucky one... some of these adventures have been
well-documented distasters but a great many of them
have been amazing (they're just not as funny to write about ;).

i know many LDS girls who aren't as fortunate considering we outnumber the
boys 2 or 3 to 1--
and, lets be honest, most of my dating has been with men who are not of my faith.
upon reflection, i find one key aspect that these suitors have in common:
they ask me to go on proper dates.

see, i'm of the "old-fashioned" idea that men should be the pursuers. when i was 14, i was asked during a young women's organization exercise to write the
characteristics i was looking for in a future husband.
my list looked like this:

1. ambition


and that was it....
while my mom was borderline horrified by this sparse and somewhat terrifying list, i guess felt like ambition was kind of an all-inclusive umbrella which held;
RM, well educated, career-driven, witty, funny, creative, talented, interesting, handsome...someone who pursues.. etc.....
or, i guess you could say, the man i'm attracted to is the man who has the
gumption to pick up a phone and ask.

ladies, we enable these dudes!
by calling first, texting first, planning dessert parties, scheduling group events just to get in the same room with these guys is basically emasculating them.
i'm not suggesting we be totally passive...
(don't freak out, women's libbers... i'm as equal opportunity as they come-
i just like my men strong, and interested in me.)

flirt your brains out, be fun, express your interest subtly, and be a moving object of desire (MOD) then let him make a move... if he doesn't.... he's not the kind of man i'm interested in.
i feel it our duty to re-train this culteral dating epidemic!
have we enabled a group of lazy daters by having too many group church activities?
are they afraid that if they take a gal on a measly single date,
everyone in their fishbowl will assume that they're dating?

to that, i say, "cowboy up!"

i'm not choosy. in fact, the simpler the first date, the better...
nothing is more awkward than a man blowing a wad of cash on a meal
that you're miserable attending...
a simple hot chocolate (ang, that's for you!), a walk around the block, lunch...
you get the idea.

anyway,
that's the man i'm interested in... the one who will court me.

and sorry, "peter priesthood," there aren't many LDS men who know how to do that anymore.

photo by sussy