me- makeup free and totally blissed out.
so canyon ranch....
ooh my.
it really is heaven.
turns out, i spent the most glorious 3 days doing nothing but eating amazing food (for zero calories), lounging by the pool/ beach, doing yoga 2x/day, attending rock climbing bootcamps, doing pilates, prancing thru dance classes, receiving the most amazing acupuncture and massage sessions i've ever had, cleansing in their aquavena baths (igloo, swedish sauna, herbal laconium, steam rooms, whirlpool, waterfalls) and sleeping my nights away in my glorious suite.
it was perfect- and i needed it.
my body and spirit felt like a deflated balloon when i arrived and i left feeling robust and vital.
so grateful...
anyway, i have to tell you about my massage:
always up for anything strange/new, i agreed to an ashiatsu massage (i've done everything else, rolfing, you name it..remember my korean massage date?).
ashiatsu is when the practitioner stands on your body and works you out with his feet...
awesome.
i readily agreed assuming the masseuse would be a diminutive woman or man, naturally- i'm a fairly little person 5'3"....
nope.
i got a 6'2" GORGEOUS man to massage me- awesome, right?
wait...
he has to STAND on me...
i got nervous- but not nervous enough to cancel. and let me tell you, when you flip on your back side...holy moly... it's slightly sexual.. and awesome..... i digress...
so he jumps on top of me and starts on my "seat" (as we call it in physique).
immediately, he started laughing.
me: everything ok up there?
him: yeah ... ha ha.... i just have to tell you, i've never had this happen before!
me: had what happen?!
him: well, usually when i stand on somebody's butt, it flattens- just like walking on the floor... your muscles are holding shape (yeah.. i've heard i'm a tight a)...i have to curl my toes around your curves. this is a challenge to me.
me: um.. this is miami- cuban land- i'm pretty sure you've dealt with curves before...
him: i've dealt with curves but you are ROUND! this is a real challenge....
um... thank you physique?
post massage, he went on and on about what a challenge it was to massage someone with so much muscle.. which led me to the obvious conclusion that he's only ever massaged people over 70 yrs old...
but it was amazing. seriously....
my grand plan is to
1. become incredibly rich
2. find a man who is emotionally mature and marry him.
3. before i marry him, take all of the women i love to canyon ranch and do a glorious weekend of bacheloretting pre-wedding.
that is my plan.
if YOU go to canyon ranch, you must see jim for acupuncture, and adolpho for ashiatsu.
both are healers.
namaste*
11 comments:
Oh to be blessed with such a behind! You lucky girl!
Date and marry my brother and I'll gladly bachelorette with you! It sounds like the perfect getaway.
(In all seriousness though, my single and very attractive brother just turned 30 today.)
Seriously -- are you living my pretend life?
I wish I even had a butt to flatten. I only have this things that flow into my thighs. That would be my back+thighs = backighs!
Glad you had the chance to recharge before your next project. Bring it on NYC/Broadway!
kristin,
if your brother has a job & is a man of his word, send him my way.
n
I LOVE reading your blog! You always have the greatest stories!
This made me chuckle a bit. A few years back I was traveling in South Africa. I went to a spa at a beautiful resort we were staying and had just a general deep tissue massage. However - it was anything but "normal". My masseuse kept telling me how he'd studied massage all over the world and really liked to try *new* things. Part way through the massage (which was already awkward) he asked if I would mind if he "used the table" to aid in the massage. Nervously I said that would be ok.....but then he continued on literaly jump up on top of the table (and on top of me) to "get more leverage". It was one of the most uncomfortable massage of my life. Especially when he kept saying, "Just relax...."
At least it gave me some laughs later. :)
that sounds amazing. do they have packages that include all the stuff you did? i've always dreamed of doing something like that! i'm glad you were able to!!
So maybe I just emailed you about my older brother. Do what you want with the info - I couldn't resist myself :)
this is hilarious. go you and your tight butt!
oh to have a tight butt. I have a flat butt and i HATE IT. or maybe I just don't have a butt. either way I hate it.
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