6.20.2011

{ the bachelorette } episode 5| i'm so bored by this episode i already can't remember what happened


  1. phuket. that'll never not be funny to me.
  2. yes, y'all are right... ames looks like Hercules Fraser.
  3. i'm desperate to see that "cute" temple in thailand.
  4. i've never seen so many men worried about a bachelorette's emotional climate.
  5. why is flavor savor still there?
  6. do they make them run like a herd of puppies?
  7. cute shirt dress.
  8. that guy in the white henley looks like ace young.
  9. ugh. caveman's hair. { broken record }
  10. solar panels is really EMOTING listening to the 2 on 1 rules.
  11. must be the producer's dream.
  12. no, i don't want to go on a date with you, solar panels.
  13. sheesh. identical twins!
  14. oooh so there's a method to that fierce hair?
  15. cute dress.
  16. so what? do they finally give her a stylist when she leaves the country?
  17. i'm into ames and jp
  18. eeew. creepers on a balcony.
  19. ames just said pro-sess.
  20. looks like they're walking 5 miles to get out of that hotel.
  21. is she bowlegged?
  22. those taxis are awesome/terrifying.
  23. another "cute" marketplace bachelorette date.
  24. really getting in with the locals, you know.
  25. oooh big spender!
  26. on "our" mantle?
  27. ew. this "playing house" talk makes me vim.
  28. you know what thailand to me is, ash? a massage and a beach.
  29. awkward silences.
  30. mental kisses is kind of sweet.
  31. for a cave man....
  32. no wonder! he likes drawing on walls.
  33. i have that belt.
  34. boys are so confused by onesies. they never know what to do with it.
  35. that's what subsy tells me.
  36. holy moly! that IS gorgeous!
  37. those poor pa's. i hope they outsourced that.
  38. he's really sweet....
  39. you guys, even cavemen have feelings.
  40. oooh the mandarin oriental spa in nyc is soooo fabulous.
  41. { i'm like a puppy! oooh bright shiny objects!}
  42. mickey! that's who looks like ace
  43. i prefer ben to dummy josh lucas.
  44. this is my idea of a cool date.
  45. don't smooch! watch these women almost get lit on fire!
  46. what if one of those candles dropped and lit the petals and it all went up in flames in one elaborate pattern.
  47. love is worth fighting for-- hope it strikes enough of a "chord" for him to get a tattoo like that weirdo that's dating vienna
  48. oh ash! wax on! wax off! you fierce, no-nonsense, boxing woman, you!
  49. solar panels only speaks in cliche. real bad cliche.
  50. does ames get spray tanned btwn every date?
  51. sheesh! there are no fatties there!
  52. nice impersonation.
  53. "spandex was invented for people like her." -spandex's new tagline
  54. wonder who pounced on the pink duds.
  55. oooh poor ames.
  56. i like ames. he's sweet.
  57. he looks like a wwf barbie.
  58. oh my! that truck is jail like and terrifying.
  59. what? personal trainer is wussing out? isn't this kind of his business?
  60. oh this dentist is dramatic. he's tots getting a "love is worth fighting for " tattoo.
  61. who thought this was going to be a good idea? this has disaster written all over it.
  62. and it's sorta barbaric and middle ages-ish.
  63. go jews from long island!
  64. of course you haven't been in a fight, ivy league.
  65. poor boy.
  66. solar panels isn't gonna fight fair.
  67. he seems like a weiner but he's scrappy and crazy so i'm sure this is where there will be injury.
  68. oooh the slow mo is super dramatic.
  69. look at poor ames little legs.
  70. poor guy.
  71. ew. who wants to hang with those sweaty humid men!
  72. smelly cat.
  73. oh, they did it by weight class?
  74. why didn't they have a medic on set?
  75. poor hercules is gonna look more like quasimodo.
  76. there's a lot of pectorals in that grouping.
  77. bye, ames! have fun with that brain swelling in some strange thai hospital! C ya SOON! love you! mean it!
  78. watching this makes me really want mango and coconut sticky rice.
  79. fun shoes! are those the fendi knockoffs?
  80. hooker makeup. ladies... if you're gonna do a bright lip, don't do a wild colored eyeshadow... keep it neutral for fear you'll look like an early 80's whore.
  81. no wonder all those dudes aren't wanting to cocktail. i'd be taking a rain check on that one and i'd stay in my hotel room with an ice pack.
  82. oooh there's our jaunty fair harvard man!
  83. with a neutral "nice to see you" greeting. sooo ivy.
  84. do you think this has ruined ames shot at the governorship?
  85. " it was great? "
  86. oh he's so nervous/awkward.
  87. oooh ! alert ! cheese factor!
  88. do you think ames curled those front whips with a small curling iron or with a small round brush?
  89. is caveman a candy striper? or an old-time soda jerk? what's with that shirt?!
  90. ames looks like he's partially paralyzed.
  91. ew. this golf moment is too much. he got a bit too excited when she stuck her butt out.
  92. does she forget to wear lipstick in those confessionals? sheesh! get it together, girl!
  93. and there are more cliches from solar power.
  94. yup. bowlegged. poor girl.. slash/ i used to want bowlegs so you could see space btwn my thighs.. i'm small hipped...
  95. scary strange dog.
  96. ben is a very tall jewish boy and looks like a giant compared to the other two.
  97. we should set him up with subsy!
  98. she's not into either of them. she talks to them like bored babysitter.
  99. look! it's huck and jim (as a white tall jewish man).
  100. and a little mouse named ashley to keep them company.
  101. aaah! love the dude dragging them in. sucky job.
  102. ew. josh lucas is a total tool.
  103. and that's why he's still working a kiosk.
  104. wow! yes! he can be the "biggest d*ck in the room. "
  105. oooh he's a catty little biatch!
  106. yeah, i'm sure he says "i can't wait to get back to town."
  107. he's a conniving little pansy.
  108. send him home.
  109. oh he's a little rat!
  110. what?! she didn't even talk to him!?
  111. she's so reactive.
  112. wow. what a gross excuse for a man.
  113. ew. keep it moving, ben. you're too normal and cool for her.
  114. oooh the lone man standing as they pull off is sooo dramatical.
  115. she's such a dumb girl.
  116. don't give him the rose. he's vile.
  117. he wants to act like a little kid... shocking.
  118. LADIES: you are an absolute dummy if you like men like bentley and josh lucas. you have a broken picker and need to fix it or simply stop dating all together.
  119. good for her. if she knew she was gonna give them BOTH the axe, then ok. but i sorta liked ben.
  120. yeah, you are a jack-a, josh lucas. thanks for taking the words right outta my mouth.
  121. don't say you go back to NOTHING! you have loads of 12 yr old girls walking past your kiosk to get their auntie anne's pretzels and claire's magnetic earrings!
  122. case in point: frosty/silvery eyeshadow is never flattering.
  123. ames has his own spray tanning and air brush makeup.
  124. her boobies don't fit that dress in the right way....
  125. you seem like a real person...... as opposed to what... and alien?
  126. that ponytail is so bizarre and it shows her extensions.
  127. did dawa do it? (shavs, that's for you)
  128. jp, that pink shirt really accentuates your sweet sunburn.
  129. he has a good head of hair, why doesn't he grow it out.
  130. seriously? bentley? she really must want to die watching this footage.
  131. that lipstick is just too plum for that orange-y tan and blush.
  132. yeah, chris! you make it happen!
  133. you guys, i just woke up.. was she blah blah-ing about bentley? i'm so over him.
  134. the rose on the coat-less shirt is so strangely jr. high night dance.
  135. no, flavor. you weren't headed to love.
  136. he's boring.
  137. keep it moving. i'm bored.
  138. ooh hong kong will be fun!
  139. next week will be good....
  140. hahahaha! that piano video was josh lucas's only funny contribution.

ok, kids, what do you think our favorite douchebag will do??

21 comments:

Hilary said...

UGH. SOOOO boring. Im not even sure that Bentley can even resurrect this season.
Im thinking she doesn't end up with anyone and all the guys quit before the end because they are bored too.
She should pick JP.

Julie Weiss said...

That piano playing at the end was hideous. William was totally lying! I felt bad for Ben that Ashley even believed William. So disgusting!

Shauna said...

I'm going to be dawa for Halloween! I love Dawa!

Those shoes are Jessica Simpson and they are like 70 bucks. I'll email you the link. I've tried them
On twice now I just need to buy them.

Salt H2O said...

It's really sad when you think the guys should all jump ship because the Bachelorette isn't worth the trouble.

Bentley just had the forsight to see the girl for the trainwreck she is.

Goes to show- even when a girl has 20 guys fighting over her, she can still find a way to screw it up.

Kristen said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one with her finger on the fast forward button. BOR-ING!

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

this ep was BEYOND boring- the ending wth William and the piano was the best part haha. I think this season is the worst ever...she doesn't seem remotely interested in any of the guys. I don't see a connection at all! the bentley crap is enough already!

Emma said...

I watched this with my boyfriend and the first time he saw Ashley he commented on the bowleggedness. This season SUCKS.

The Pretty Life Anonymous said...

I thought the freaking Bentley reunion was going to be this week. They had to have something to get people to watch this laaaame episode I guess.

Also, Ames totally must have a hair and makeup staff. Our else he went to beauty school, much like his little jaunt in "cooking school." For some reason I like him though. Can't help myself.

XOXO said...

I can only hope that Bentley ends this next episode with a semi colon instead of a dot dot dot.... :)

Rebekah said...

Seriously, I kept commenting to my sister about how dry this episode was. And I was so sick of all the Bentley blah blah blah. Pull it together, Ashley! You're losing all the guys! Good news is, next week looks fullll of drama... Can't wait.

Angenette said...

by being an ass and making her cry

heidi and tom said...

this is officially the worst season EVER.

p.s. Ames looks like Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb. And not the secret agent version. Google it. You'll thank me.

Brissa said...

every week you take the thoughts straight from my brain. she NEEDS to let go of bentley. it's starting to get really aggravating. who on EARTH thought fighting would be a good idea? this season is terrrrrrible.

Jackie said...

You really are saying what we're all thinking.... BORING!!!!!!!!!! And have you noticed hardly any kissing at all? Even when someone does kiss her, it seems like there's absolutely no chemistry.

I say they end the season now and we start fresh with JP as the new Bachelor. I would definitely tune in for that.

christine said...

Makes me glad I'm not watching this season. Normally there's something that hooks me in the previews, but this time... nothing at all.

Laurie said...

I was watching the episode while painting my walls and I had to keep stopping to make sure it wasn't a rerun. Soooo boring and they just say the same thing over and over.

the mom~ said...

It was so boring I seriously fell asleep and had to rewatch again in the daytime to make sure I didn't snooze off.
I noticed her bowlegs too and the PRO-cess from Ames.

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren said...

You would enjoy the emails my BILs send around after each episode. They are classic.

Michelle said...

Who is Caveman? I can't think who you are calling Caveman

aprilmay said...

Ha Ha! Josh Lucas and the mall rats comment is my favorite EVER! I am all about JP and Ames too. I think Ames sometimes resembles Sloth on Goonies but he is intelligent and adventuresome and SO NICE! And JP just has some kind of hotness about him.
Is it just me or is her hair becoming more mulletlike every episode???I swear her bangs keep getting further back!