the mormon dating dilemma | dessert parties
ok, so every culture has idiosyncrasies attached to their dating rituals.....
but since i'm an expert in mormon dating (expert only because i've been doing it for SOOO long), i have come to identify a few fundamental problems in our "system."
in nyc, mormon women outnumber mormon men four to one.
unfortunately, because the numbers are so off, it has created a real problem for the male/female dynamic.
sadly, most mormon activities (church sponsored or not) have turned into grotesque episodes of "the bachelor "where a flurry of fabulously over-qualified, beautiful women swarm around the lone man on the island (whether or not he's deserving of this busy bee attention).
what's a girl to do? she needs to make an impression!?
so the strange tradition of the "dessert party" was born.
a dessert party is usually hosted by a girl hoping to get a guy to like her.... she'll pretend there's no agenda, but she's lying. trust me.
now, she doesn't want to look like it's all about her so she'll usually host this party under the auspice that she's doing this for her friend. so pick an occasion. a housewarming, birthday, going away party, un-birthday, job promotion, you name it, she'll find an excuse for the sugar fest.
what an unselfish betty!
this way, she can promote the party to death and show her fierce martha stewart hostessing/cooking skills while looking fab. look at ME! i'm ready to be a wife!
now remember, she devises the guest list.
she controls the man/female ratio and a smart cookie will generally stack the odds in her favor.
the guest list takes a bit of skill. you don't want to go to all this hard work for another girl to sweep in and steal your target! so you only invite your closest friends who are in on the strategy and the crush's closest girl and guy friends so he feels comfortable and really wants to come. recipe for a win, no?
well, no... not really.
i can't tell you how many tears i've witnessed over failed dessert party matchmaking. nothing like slaving away in the kitchen all day for the object of your affection not to show up! or worse, he shows up, eats your souffle, and hooks up with another girl. ugh!
all of this to get a guy to see you. or at the very least, take you to dinner....
and sadly, because women have been so proactive (and most often, aggressive), the men don't need to actively pursue the women.
why would you spend money when you can eat her free treats?! (get your mind out of the gutter!)
so there we have it, kids.
one of the flaws in the mormon dating system.
alpha females and beta males and a lot of (literal) sugar between them.
photo by sussy
for one charming party