unique new york

so today was a doozy.

i woke up in a snit
(thanks to a body that isn't quite working and a heart that is a little troubled)
put myself thru a grueling work out
only to step out of the shower and step right onto a dog bone
(what a nice shower sacrifice offering, stella)
which split my foot open and i bled everywhere.
{ sweet }
next, i entered the elevator to find a note saying the hot water in the building will be off for the next. three. days.
{ sweet }
then, on my way to my voiceover audition, i was heckled by a construction worker singing "get down on it" as a question (?) when i walked by.

then... the home run:

a seemingly normal looking man in a business suit approached me on the street. thinking he needed directions, i stopped.

him: "miss! you're a beautiful woman! i just don't even know WHERE to look!
[me in my head: please don't look anywhere!]
i'm sure men have stopped you in the street over and over and i just want to be respectful and say if i politely slipped you a card with my number, i promise i'd be the best b*tch you've ever had."

um... now that's a first!

if i had my wits, i would have kicked him where it counts but i was too
flabbergasted so i just said,
"nooooooo" and raced to my commercial audition.

and cried a good cry.
today was hard.

but now i'm laughing.... that was classic.


Hilary said...

It must be the universe. June has pretty much sucked for me too.

My25Cents said...

I. Am. (nearly) Speechless.

Are you sure this is your life and not some bad, bad script for a sit-com that will never see the light of day? PLEASE make it stop!
No, I know it HAS to be true because in a bad sit-com you would have tried to kick him and somehow cut your other foot.

So, so, sorry. You need several macaron ice cream sandwiches to make it alllll better. (ps, how's your foot?) Please hang in there.

megan. said...

hang in there, sweets

...after all, tomorrow is another day! :)


L!$@ said...

You've got to love how sucky your day is until you kinda say it out loud or write it down and then can't do anything but laugh! :D

christine said...

Ugh. I'm having a day like that as well... hang in there.

Lexi said...

oh poor thing! what a weirdo!

Ang said...

you know, poor thing...

being blonde I assumed that was the main reason I got constant heckles. but now that i am old lady and never EVER get heckled I've realized, that as demeaning as it is...you're hot. you have more power than you think.

Nicole and Tyler said...

...ooohhh i hate days like that! Hopefully tomorrow is a better one, although sounds like it might not be with your hot water shut off! Good luck!

Grahangela said...

That has to be by far the most hilarious and disturbing pick-up line I've ever heard! Hope you've recovered from your hard day. :)

~ Angela

Laura said...

haha, I love your blog. Seriously I love people who make the bad into the hilarious for others. Hope you have better days then this one, but thanks for sharing ;)

Lisa said...

i hate when men do that, its sooo not a turn on!

Sarah Beau Bera said...


Jillian said...

Wait- so being a self proclaimed man-bitch was his selling point? Can't imagine why he hasn't had more luck with that.