10.19.2011

breaking up is hard to do







marriage is when a man and a woman become as one; 
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

{ mae west }


and so it goes...... 

i am again, single. 

and sometimes i feel like i'm bleeding internally and sometimes i feel ok...
but either way, i'm hurting. 

and like bonnie parker says in "bonnie and clyde"
i don't feel anything but sad. 
.
i did what i usually do when breakups happen 
(sad that it's so frequent that i have developed a habit)..

i flew to utah for solid mom & dad hugs. 

and then i bought shoes. 

i usually buy sassy going out shoes to fake my groove till i make my groove. 

but this time, i bought the coziest uggs i've ever seen. 
i just want to be swaddled. 


to live in this world, you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal:
to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; 
and, when the time comes to let it go, 
to let it go. 

{ mary oliver }

that's the hardest part of it all, isn't it? 
to let go of what you love. 
it should last forever. it's not fair. 

i loved my best. 
he loved his best. 

but really, what's love got to do with it?


thanks meg for the oliver quote. 

33 comments:

LaraMackenzie said...

I'm right there with ya, hun. Today is just one of those days, isn't it?

the {Postscript} blog said...

It's ok to want to be swaddled. Thinking of you girl :(

Emily said...

So sorry. :(

cheri said...

Prayers your way! Just went through a breakup myself (well, 6 weeks ago but it still stings like yesterday). Sending hugs your way...

missy. said...

you and me both sweetie. break ups suck and i'm going through a tough one now.. two months later and i still ache for him. but it's all apart of learning right? hope you get feeling better xoxo

Kimber and Casey said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I get so sad for you when you breakup. Glad you can get to the family quick enough

Erin said...

so sad for you. i hate hearing this news.

Fina said...

I'm sorry. Nothing more poetic to add. Just sorry.

Annie said...

im so sorry! i empathize. that quote from bonnie and clyde is so accurate. i hope your sadness gets less and less each day, dear!

Thais said...

OH man! I thought you guys were doing the long distance so well, especially with the nyc trip a couple of weeks ago. I'm sorry. I hope Vegas treats you well during this time.

eden said...

so sorry.

the emily said...

Oh I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you. I hope your uggs and hugs do just the trick.

Shari said...

:( To borrow from The Sound of Music- "What do you do when you love someone, or you think you love someone, and you stop loving them, or they stop loving you?" "Well, you cry a little and wait for the sun to come out- it always does."

Here's hoping the sun comes out for you soon!

♥ Michele ♥ said...

So sorry. Break ups are brutal. :(

Jeanelle said...

I'm so, so sorry. Uggs were a wonderful idea. Lots of love to you, girl I don't know but feel a single Mormon girl bond with. :)

Sarah said...

I'm sorry :( I don't ever comment,but I went to high school with you. I'm sad to read your blog today because this morning you randomly popped in my head and I wondered and hoped things were going well and maybe things would progress to your dreams with V. You are strong, but I'm so glad you were able to get family time. Best of luck. You are cute and fun! Your day will come.

Jaana said...

I'm a total stranger, so this is probably weird... But I was thinking of you this morning, wondering how things were going with V... long distance relationships are HARD... and thinking about how awesome you are and what an inspiration you are to me. Anyway... big hugs... you are an amazing woman. Sending you love and support and good thoughts!
J

k t said...

:(

katilda said...

you need a breakup song...Lady Antebellum's new album has two you will love: "wanted you more" and "as you turn away."

KT said...

x's and o's coming your way from Ohio....

Martha said...

So sorry. Thinking of you!

Linds Forrest said...

I'm sorry. I love your blog and think you are fantastic. I hope your heart ache is healed soon, and in the meantime you are held up by loved ones!

My25Cents said...

2Nephi 22:2

Praying for a healing balm to be provided during this trial.

Hugs all around.

Janiel Miller said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm glad you have your family to hug. I hope for the best for you. Your strength has blown me away since you were fourteen years old.

Sarah said...

Well, that sucks.

Chin up. You're awesome.

Kristen said...

I'm so sad for you. I'm at the tail end of finalizing a divorce and it hurts like crazy. I hope you find comfort in the fact that many feel your pain

Carrie said...

I'm so sorry. my heart dropped when I read this post. I hope your ache eases soon.

Lexi and Robert said...

Someone once told me that every relationship you have will fail...except one. I know it doesn't help when you are feeling down but that's the nature of the whole thing. Chin up because that 1 out of 99 does come along and it is worth all the heartache getting there!

Life Is Good said...

:( Very sad...

christine said...

love is learning process.

so sorry for your heart ache. hang in there.

julianna said...

I love you Nat.

Shan @ Design Gal said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! When I read the post title, my first thought was, "Nooo!"
Wishing you happiness and love!

Alice said...

I thought you guys were doing the long distance so well, especially with the nyc trip a couple of weeks ago.
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