{ the bachelor- ben } episode 8 - ben likes models

sooo... did the show start right away with the florida date? cause that's where my dvr started.....
this bach grouping is the small version of my fam. 

here's what we're thinking:

  1. is it my tv or is lindzi BRIGHT orange. oompa loompa orange. 
  2. clementine color.
  3. cutie color.
  4. tangerine color.
  5. ben's color is slightly more normal... so yup. she's orange.
  6. she just nailed that poor horse in the back of the head with that spur...
  7. um... that's not how you dismount a horse. you bring your leg around the back of the horse. 
  8. she doesn't know how to ride. 
  9. and you don't lead a horse with one rein.
  10. it's not a big part of her life either, homeboy.... she's a horsewoman as much he's a fly fisherman. 
  11. how about lipstick? can lipstick please be a part of your life?
  12. she's wearing the frosty white burts bees chapstick- ali
  13. "horse farm".... that's technically called a "ranch."
  14. i'm just waiting for the wind to blow her extensions exposed....
  15. ben needs chapstick. 
  16. ewww nasty soul patch and greasy hair. 
  17. nice lick of the lips.. they were pretty parched. sick.
  18. does ben have highlights?
  19. over the river and thru the woods, idiot.
  20. they look like deranged amish folk in that buggy. 
  21. that lap sit looks comfy, doesn't it. 
  22. did ben just drop that dog?
  23. omg! mfeo city hall!
  24. charriot races?! that's fun. 
  25. dad's got the lean down!
  26. they got that music from the superbowl.
  27. mom needs a more supportive bra- mom.
  28. lindzi's voice = hot pokers on my eardrum
  29. that's a serious horse bit necklace on mom.
  30. full dad sweat. 
  31. jaycob is obsessed with the wine glasses- he says they made 5 million in 10 months. i think they're ugly. 
  32. she's not spontaneous!- dad.
  33. kacie has such cute style.. but WHY is she going bra-less?!
  34. stop it!
  35. where is she with her baton?
  36. oop! there it is!
  37. this band is terrible! 
  38. nice illusion, kace! that looked good! 
  39. she is adorable in that forever 21 poncho. 
  40. she should have just committed to the curly day- always check the weather. 
  41. that's his "i'm listening" but i'm not really listening face- dad. 
  42. he always looks bored when the gals are pouring their hearts out. 
  43. kacie's drinking enough for mom & dad. 
  44. so why is he still calling her "kacie b?" there's only one kacie in this race. 
  45. mom drops the "so..." at the end of every sentence. 
  46. woooah! that accent is thiiiack. 
  47. it's a tennessee frizz fest. 
  48. sis should consider a better hair color. ashy!
  49. dad already scares me. 
  50. sounds like he scares kacie as well. 
  51. eek. this interview is awkward..
  52. cricket...cricket....
  53. this whole drill set up is so strange. 
  54. can't they just have fun with the families?!
  55. his hair gets worse and worse. 
  56. kacie's mom could be totally hot with a new look. 
  57. i think she's younger than she looks. 
  58. why is mom bringing up the marriage issue?! this is something that kacie should address. 
  59. he's hating this. 
  60. dad is right on. it's just too intense for this point in their relationship. 
  61. that's thicker eyeliner on her than i've ever seen on her...
  62. good, dad. 
  63. ft. worth is so fun. i love texas too, ben!
  64. "slow-to-go."
  65. them are some big ole .... everythings, nick. 
  66. the cross earrings are a big statement. 
  67. yes! i love that cowboy salesman!
  68. oooh hell! we suffered thru a horse metaphor with lindzi and now a boot metaphor with nikki?! sick. 
  69. costume change for lindzi. 
  70. he looks HORRIBLE. horrible. 
  71. "beating a dead horse"- how insensitive after lindzi ;)
  72. i don't think those kinds of sequins are for daytime. 
  73. ladies, exhale while you speak. this hard glottal speaking is KILLING ME!!!!
  74. singers are so annoying, i know...
  75. he's such a grandma-ish lip licker. 
  76. honestly, i'm SO bored by these true confessions. 
  77. what's with the one shoulder shirts? - dad
  78. it's the one skinny bit & she needs to expose it. 
  79. nikki is wasted in the confessionals- surprise surprise. 
  80. that is a super unflattering outfit on nikki. 
  81. woah, laura! that's a print!!
  82. again, mom would be really pretty with a better /softer look. 
  83. the last two dads look like each other- dad.
  84. again, another girl with a bad bra. 
  85. these bed confessions are so awkie. 
  86. i love that she's retelling her mom about her story... as if she didn't know she was divorced?
  87. i had faith in your judgement and clearly, you're incompetent- especially considering you're on the bachelor- nikki's dad.
  88. yuck! what are they eating!!! all the food is the same color!
  89. well, there is texas toast!
  90. so... nobody grilled ben? interesting. 
  91. ew. clouded glasses and a dog kennel in the corner. 
  92. couldn't the set dressers have helped?!
  93. crying, red, and wasted. 
  94. courtney's a model! - ben's thoughts while nikki professes his love. 
  95. kacie b is out of the running -dad.
  96. these hometowns are super boring. 
  97. i'm looking forward to crazy courtney. 
  98. another idiot goes bra-less. 
  99. oooh look at her try to do damage control after the fact! sorry, court. nobody is buying it. 
  100. so he only brought flowers to the last 3 girls? sorry lindz. 
  101. courtney's outfit is adorable.... with a bra. 
  102. i feel like this is rent-a-family. courtney doesn't act like she knows any of these people- ali.
  103. strange that everyone has 2 kids. 
  104. jaycob said  courtney and ben are wearing the wedding rings already. nice editing. 
  105. sister is working that ombre look... 
  106. her parents are so "active retirement community" scottsdale. 
  107. ew. a giant pic of herself in the corner. 
  108. sis has a cute body. why that boxy, unflattering shift?
  109. what young people is court's dad counseling?!
  110. what is falling down? rain?
  111. why are mom & daughter both speaking in baby voices?
  112. i feel "deserving." gross. 
  113. the baby voices are really creeping me out. 
  114. she's fake- even with her mother- dad. 
  115. why are mom and dad the only ones with food?
  116. obviously this happened before- court has a full beat of makeup & they're eating lunch...
  117. i'm guessing they just decided to keep this crazy in the teasers and save it until the end. 
  118. oooh! did i mention im a model?! #photoshoot
  119. creepytown with the wedding. psycho. 
  120. this is getting more and more uncomfortable. 
  121. any normal guy would be so freaked out by this. 
  122. brad womack would have had to call his therapist - ali. 
  123. i like that she brought her pre written vows to pretend to re write it. 
  124. ben didn't give me a fear factor challenge so i planned a wedding- court.
  125. she is NONE of these things. 
  126. p-whipped. 
  127. and now we're rhyming? eek. 
  128. does she need to go to the bathroom? why is she prancing around?
  129. "bing!" 
  130. whyyyyyyyyy???
  131. who is this? creepy uncle peter officiating our fake wedding?
  132. ben is such a tool. 
  133. "almost married?!" wow.
  134. love the frosty reminiscent lens. 
  135. we don't need a re-cap. we JUST saw this. 
  136. was nikki's brother a mute?
  137. we never really saw or heard from him. 
  138. sorry guys, i just got so bored, i flipped over to pinterest. 
  139. who cares, ben. 
  140. sweet typewriter  tie tack, b. 
  141. i think nikki is going, despite the fun date. 
  142. woah! woof! kacie! what are you wearing! a bra-less muumuu?!
  143. nikki looks largo compared to those little tiny birds but her hair looks great. 
  144. horrible shoes on court.
  145. well, i love lindzi because she's predictable. always a frosty heavily lined eye & dead person lips. 
  146. "i do".... subtle, court. subtle.
  147. i wish i could be a fly on the wall of any of their houses when they're watching this episode tonight. fake wedding. 
  148. dad thinks kacie is going. 
  149. awkward soothe-yourself sway out of nikki. 
  150. woaaaaah!!!!!!!!!! 
  151. dad was right!
  152. KACIE's the next bachelorette- jaycob. 
  153. woah. that was surprising. 
  154. why did courtney do that awkward hangback?!
  155. i'm really surprised. i thought she'd get to final 2. 
  156. the dad ruined it for her. 
  157. which is sad. he was just being sensible but no fun. 
  158. there's a way to stand for something and still be a good time. 
  159. wow. he's an idiot. 
  160. well, kace. at least your nail polish is pretty. 
  161. oooooh ! just stop talking. stop!! save yourself!
  162. no! she's yelling!
  163. stop. 
  164. woah! her bible belt parents are going to be thrilled about those f-bombs. 
  165. why is courtney wearing socks?- ali
  166. courtney is worried she won't be able to bikini it up in snow.... i'm sure she'll find a way. 
  167. magestic and magical.... same root. 
  168. please tell me the big bomb is that courtney tells him she's pregnant with his salty baby. 
  169. wait, what??? emily is on next monday??? i can't wait for that. i love her. 
  170. stop acting demure about the skinny dipping... everyone will watch that soon enough. 
  171. she does a weird finger push of the hair out of the face....
ok. i'm surprised. totally surprised. 
what are you thinking?


Cadence said...

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Court pulled her vow from the final "sex and the city" episode... anyone care to verify?

Chelsea said...

Courtney definitely pulled her vow from the last episode of SATC. What a chump. I love reading what your group says! It's absolutely hilarious. Thanks!

p.s. you can check mine out here!

HAwsumb said...

I simply must know what you think about "Smash" Personally I'm a HUGE fan. Would love to hear your thoughts :)

Heather said...

What a joke. Ben should have run when Courtney staged the wedding. Any man in his right mind would have. It honestly made me cringe and turn to my huge pile of laundry that needed to be folded. I can't believe he dropped Kacie, she was by far the best choice. And let's be honest, he has already picked Courtney, let's end this lame season already.

bradget said...

Can we also address the lame attempt by the show to get Courtney to try and show remorse for her awful behavior? LAME!

"I feel bad for the way I've treated the girls" translates into "Oh crap I just realized how crappy I'm going to look when this airs and my 15 seconds of Bachelor fame will only get me so far..."

Personally I'm glad she's around they needed new evil blood on the next Bachelor Pad.

Rae said...

As soon as Kacie's parents let Ben know how conservative they were he was out the door, we all knew it. He's so not cool with waiting for marriage to live together. Kacie is way too good, sweet, innocent, and young for Ben.
And Courtney's vow was completely SATC.

Life is Good said...

I cannot believe Kacie went home - I absolutely thought she would win and at a minimum be in the top two! And something really needs to be done about Ben's hair - it's getting worse and worse.

Stacy said...

poor Kacie. but honestly, they weren't a good match. She is waaaay to good for him, and I don't think it ever would have lasted. ben & courtney totally deserve each other. yuck. this season stinks.

Emily Foley said...

I was totally surprised. I was sure Nicki was getting the axe.

But we finally disagree about something - Kacie's "cute" style! I've never, ever seen her (or anyone on the bachelor) look worse than she did on her hometown. Her hair, her sideburns, were AWFUL, and that outfit and poncho were just horrific. I could barely watch it. I really liked her dad, being sensible about it all. But he did ruin it for her.

Alexa said...

Courtney's mom does that weird lip scrunch thing too.

Sarah Beau Bera said...

What awesome HAwsumb asked. What DO you think of Smash? I was going to tweet you about it.

megan. said...

I was coming to tattle on the fact that she jacked that "vow" line from SATC... as if she wasn't totally heinous already.

ughhh, kacie was my fav. but I like her way too much for her to end up with ben. I totally think ben & courtney deserve each other. he's kind of a greasy skeez.

Jennifer Bowman said...

I was suprised too but almost glad Kacie got sent home. She is too cute/sweet for him. I think he & Courtney are made for each other...and it won't last!

I do agree with someone else on here that thought Kacie was a fashion miss on her home visit. Yikes! What on earth was she thinking??!

That is HILARIOUS she used her vow from the finale of sex and the city! hahaha

Deveny said...

As soon as they skinny dipped, the 'competition' was over. No way any man could do that and end up with another woman since he KNOWS they'll watch this. Which is fine with me, those other girls are way too good for him.

The Belshes said...

Personaly, I have outgrown Ben so much at this point that I hope he does choose Courtney and they can live their ridiculous fake lives. Very surprised about Kacie though. She was my ttop pick for sure!

By the way, I'm friends with Brooke Devey Wilson and have been stalking your blog for a while now. Love Love Love it :)

Manders said...

Ali had some great one-liners! Love that Ben thought Court was so creative in how she told him she loved him...so intimate...with the random guy watching the whole thing..oof..weird!

Jessie Ann said...

k these bach posts seriously make my day! I would have laughed in Courtney's face at a fake wedding...why doesn't he see she is cookoo for cocoa puffs?? yikes! see you next week at class!

Dejah said...

Ok, I didn't know about the whole Sex and the City vow thing, but apparently she just took lines from everywhere, because I want to love you and treat you right, everyday and every night is from a Bob Marley song. Those are some classy vows.