{ the bachelor } sean- kacie b's demise

ok, kids. 

i'm back in utah and watching with some of mi familia. 

tonight we have mom, dad, ali & bruggy in the commentary lane. 

1. shocking. we open on a shot of sean working out. 
2. did they oil him up pre workout?
3. he is perma-pink.
4. do you think they give these "spontaneous" morning de-briefings a call time and the girls choose to get full beat or not?
5. leslie has the strangest face shape. 
6. robyn... no body is ditching any other bitches for you. 
7. dc barbie! good. 
8. she just might use words that are too big for sean. 
9. love that hot little dress!
10. is there a beyonce fan in the limo for rockstar effect?
11. ew. hollywood is so gross. 
12. she's too over dressed for this date. 
13. this is a BOOORING and unsexy date. 
14. there's a twist.. i can feel it. 
15. no way, dad! way to dream big!!! 
16. neat, chris. sweet fancy vest. are you a newsie?
17. sieze the day, homes. 
18. he's gotten super skinny since he dumped his wife. 
19. "procedure".... nothing sexier. 
20. how do you REALLY kiss and make sure your lips stay touching?
21. yeah, the head grab is SEXUAL!
22. just keep moving your arms to keep it steamy. 
23. her skirt is getting higher and higher....
24. and he's lifting it up. 
25. this is a good idea.- dad. 
26. bahahaha!
27. wait... do we really have to watch this?
28. bored. 
29. can you imagine if they have bad breath?- bruggy.
30. yeah, girl. just mess up his hair! that's right!
31. who are those weirdos ? just trying to challenge ? 
32. sean is getting handsy. 
33. he's redder and redder. 
34. his head might just blow off. 
35. you'd think she just won the olympics...
36. calling her "lezzzley" really turns me off. 
37. her family sounds like my family. 
38. so why isn't she looking at him. - mom.
39. ew "you're gonna find the guy"... friend zone!
40. ooop. he brought it back to him. 
41. he's into her. 
42. she's a bit cold.
43. why won't she look at him?!
44. his blush is magenta.
45. he looks you in the eye, but you won't...
46. he's a nice guy. kind and polite. - dad. 
47. i feel like she doesn't say the stupid things the other girls say.- jaycob. 
48. she needs to stop making the moves. 
49. am i seeing leslie's uterus??
50. damn, girl! that dress is short and that angle is rough!
51. that model is so aggressive. 
52. take em to disneyland! he could sort em out pretty fast down there.- dad (answer to everything apparently)
53. he's totally into her. 
54. "did you notice this?" 
55. no, sean... what is that? why is it there?
56. he's being really verbal and emotionally open with her.... a rare male quality. 
57. LEZ be honest, he's diggging her. 
58. bahahaha! a confetti drop?! awesome. 
59. is the the end of the grinch? 
60. that's a great location. 
61. you guys, nothing sounds less fun to me than beach volleyball. 
62. is this baywatch?
63. sweet casual outfit, chris. 
64. when are they going to mention their swimsuit sponsor?
65. please tell me the girl with one arm is not on this challenge!
66. you guys, i once played flag football at frank wildhorn & linda eder's house with a bunch of bway folk and this crazy girlfriend of one of the boys played opposite me and her boyfriend liked me so she clawed the daylights out of my face on a "touch-tackle." i hate competitive girls around boys. 
67. how long do you think this game is taking? these girls are gonna get fried. 
68. this game is uncomfortable. 
69. where do you think they get to glam up after this sweat fest? 
70. public restroom?
71. those girls are spazzes!-mom
72. i'd be so bugged if i actually knew how to play volleyball and i had to play with these numbskulls. 
73. see? tank tops make every guy look gay. 
74. is she seriously crying?? 
75. yes! and an ugly cry at that!
76. she must be starving! 
77. none of them bothered to put clothes on?
78. ew. sweaty bikini bodies on real furniture?! sick. 
79. ew. who is this verbal drivel monologue?!
80. i feel like she's looking into a mirror and practicing- bruggy.
81. oh. wedding dress girl. 
82. he's your best friend? and you've known him a week? you are super stable, sister. 
83. he's going for it!
84. desiree is a doll. 
85. total katie holmes. 
86. he's always grabbing ass. 
87. she's about to share the gospel with him. 
88. he's super vocal with all of them ... which makes me not trust him so much. 
89. he just lays back and lets them come to him.- dad. 
90. see thru sweats- ali. 
91. sweet prank, tierra! 
92. "whatever it takes!" that crazy biz is going mass murder them. 
93. now THAT would be a bachelor first!!
94. ew. really?
95. oh no, kacie b. don't talk about anybody else...
96. didn't she do this last time??
97. kacie b is going to shoot herself in the foot right here. 
98. desiree has issues with amanda?
99. what? is she trying to knock them both out? 
100. he's not interested in this drama. 
101. good question, sean!
102. is she wasted?
103. but you did, kacie. and now you look nuts. 
104. he is SO bugged. 
105. and now she's not making an ounce of sense. 
106. wait?! what's my motivation in this scene?- mom. 
107. i think she slipped some shrooms.- jaycob.
108. yes, sean! way to call her out!
109. why is her hair matching her skin color?
110. yeeeeah, gal.. this "plan" was a bad one. 
111. she's stoned.-mom.
112. yeah.. other sides.. like "crazy."
113. i really don't understand the lindsey attraction....
114. why is kacie b's face so puffy? is she throwing up?
115. she's hungry and drunk and has too much eyelash glue on that right eye that she's trying to cover up with eyeshadow. 
116. ashLEE's spelling is terrible. 
117. she's a STUNNING girl, but this confessional lighting is ROUGH. 
118. tierra is a drama queen.-dad.
119. why is he wearing skin-colored shirts. 
120. i love seeing the film crew in shots. 
121. she might have a concussion?! rocket science!
122. "FER SURE"... utah?
123. so she refuses treatment? 
124. did she fake the fall?
125. this was awesome. 
126. poor ashLEE's date is sabotaged. 
127. "little doll."
128. i like ashLEE.
129. ooop hands ON!
130. unflattering angle! i'm seeing stretch marks and folds!
131. tierra is a great villan. 
132. he is mister words of affirmation! 
133. look at those tiny legs! her body is SLAMMIN!
134. bummer of an inappropriate outfit. 
135. i'd be down with this date in a big way. 
136. couldn't they find a bench? 
137. she's stunning. 
138. cool cool charity. 
139. hey dum dum, it doesn't say anything about sean... it says more about the production company. 
140. can this poor girl ride any rides?
141. these girls are probably like, can we just hang with each other? i know you're the bachelor but you're not famous yet so i don't really care about you...
142. this ride, tidal wave, used to freak me out at lagoon. 
143. weird. you guys talk and we'll just sit and listen and make comments. 
144. i'm sure they're medically cleared, but this is making me super nervous. 
145. i'd trade bodies with ashLEE in a ny minute. 
146. oh yeah! nothing caps off a bachelor date like a private country concert!
147. it's creepy not having anyone there. feels like you're in a cemetery or something. - mom. 
148. oh yeah! i have old west photos like that from Lagoon. my aunt ang worked there. i thought she was the bees knees. 
149. i LOVE ashLEE. love her. 
150. her poor little nose is sunburned. 
151. i dig this girl. 
152. sean is getting the lump!
153. he is a doll. 
154. what a sweet, genuine boy. 
155. i feel like he worships her but i'm not sure that he connects with her. 
156. welp, she set that one up nicely (re: adoption story pre-rose)- bruggy. 
157. ew that's weird to just have to talk on that set then cue: music. 
158. he's just a lip slut, isn't he- mom. 
159. how can you want it? you don't even know this guy!- dad. 
160. "y'all all look beautiful." 
161. engrish is HARD!
162. he's like a kid in a candy store. 
163. sarah has GORGEOUS eyes. 
164. love that dress. 
165. a surprise?? is this a bachelor first?
166. oh poor girl. she thinks she's getting the boot?
167. what?! her dog? have we even heard about this dog? why didn't anyone set this up? 
168. and now her dress is wet from the perma-wet pavement. 
169. i get it. i'd be thrilled if he schlepped stella in. 
170. tierra's style is straight out of 5.7.9.
171. she bugs me. 
172. is that a harry potter scar?
173. i can't be friends with girls like this. 
174. des is looking super zooey dechanel-ish.
175. oooooh des, you've BURNED tierra. she's gonna go after you!
176. woah! a kiss! bold1
177. i love her. 
178. would someone please teach tierra how to curl all of her hair pieces?
179. poor des is just sitting and waiting ??
180. like dc's look tonight. 
181. jackie is slutty "ariel."
182. is kacie b wearing a scuba suit?
183. she's not wearing that dress, it's wearing her. 
184. she's giving me straight up sandra bullock botox face. 
185. sean is bugged. 
186. and probably super turned off by her bride of frankenstein hair. 
187. he's done with kacie b. 
188. i like sean's look tonight. 
189. comb/backwalk- over black girl needs to go home. 
190. i'm glad they cut the deliberation room footage. BOOOORIIIING.
191. i hate this "please choose me" part.-mom
192. it looks like a whore house!-dad.
193. ooop. what's happening?
194. good. kacie gets a second chance?
195. out in front? he's shipping her out and she's getting a more personal goodbye.
196. yeah. i'm soo good. 
197. good for him. 
198. that was the right thing to do. 
199. this girl is not going to be the next bachelorette after that meltdown. 
200. leslie h??? seriously?
201. i'm dying for them to get deodorant stains on his shoulders when they go in for the full-frontal rose hug. 
202. really? backwalk/combover?!
203. i have a girl crush on selma. 
204. sheesh! the model is looking rough tonight! sort of like a tranny alien. 
205. yikes! the serial killer gets to stay?
206. duh. desiree is staying. 
207. like this is a question. 
208. who is that blonde chick? she looks haggard. 
209. oh these breakup confessionals kill me. they all give me the lump lately. i feel for them!
210. nooooooo she doesn't give the "do you want to taste the chocolate!!" 
211. did we really have to suffer that on MLK day?!
212. did you notice how they took that "i can't take this torture anymore" soundbite and threw it with the fall in all the previous shorts? tricky editing! 
213. you guys, that really may just go to show that BENTLEY was FRAMED!!
214. just kidding. he's a dirtbag. 

were you surprised by the kacie b meltdown? 

i sorta thought she'd learned from her courtney mistakes..

i'm thinking it's a mix of eating disorder (i'm no dr, but bulimia is my guess) and alcohol which created a toxic mix of crazy in her. poor girl. 

and now, notes from my NYC bachelor posse...note: this was a giant text. 

i love it. 

Notes from the Wahhab/Quinn/Fullerton clan.
Obviously Brad has to work out on camera every episode real hard.
We don't like looking at Leslie's face. Lesl-ey? The white one. Also, she needs fake lashes, she has man-face. Tomboyish? A late blossomer? We hate watching them kiss. Ew. Ew. Ew.
Chill out, Leslie (ey?) he's not THAT gorgeous and you've known him for 2 seconds.
He needs some lash work, too. Maybe a dye job? Is he albino?
They're drunk. Like high schoolers. "Notice this?" (Re: the rose.) Shut up, Sean.
Ok, Sean is cute. We love Sean.
Haha- cool tank top, Sean.
For sure Sean got a spray tan.
OMG, Kristy is sooooo sad.
It's so lame that they make them compete for this shit. Stupid.
Desiree is Katie Holmes circa Dawson's creek. She needs to say "like" less, though. Ooh- 1/2 Katie Holmes and 1/2 Katherine McPhee.
What the hell, Kacie B!!! You're gonna get booted! This is terrible! He hates you now! Are you wasted?! He hates you! Ahhhh! Crazy! She's being crazy! Drunk for sure.
Also, Kacie--fix your lash glue, girl.
Why have you had "several concussions" Sean? You're a model.
Hey, Tierra we can see your vagina up on that porch swing in those white shorts.
This is the cutest sweetest thing ever this is so cute I can't wait to see what happens.
I. Love. Sean.
Ok, AshLee is cool but her name sucks.
OMG, I love her I love him I love that he cried at her adoption story so cute I love him.
Noelle's regretting not applying for this season.
Noelle says, "Kacie doesn't do well once they get in the house-- her hair frizzes out, she's gonna get fat again, she's being catty...doesn't look good for her"
I have a hard time not calling her Kacie B.
Desiree for the win.
HOLY. S---. KACIE KILLED IT FOR HERSELF WITH THAT CATTY S---!
Wow.
Noelle, "Catherine "likes the beef" too much for him to send her home"
Selma is so pretty.
This episode is boring. Except for the Kacie B shi. What?!?!
Wow.
Taryn, Kristy and Kacie B. Wow.