{ the bachelor } sean- a whole lot of crazies get pity roses.

**sorry for the delay. 

this is a picture during happier times. we had a rough night which included a visit to pet urgent care for stella. we're hopeful that she'll be ok, but my heart is broken over her pain. 

today we have two of the funniest marrieds i know, the dastrups, as our special guests. 

they gave me some hilarious material. 

1. i actually like a lot of these gals. 
2. you've never before read that here. 
3. aaand we always start with a shirtless shot. 
4. and NOW an upshot undie?
5. they're faded! at least put on a new pair- sommer. 
6. i HATE when people say "next level."
7. woah! that escalated quickly!- dusty. re: next level, then next level, then babies!
8. this girl needs to stop crying. no one cares. 
9. that shirt is weird and gay. 
10. he already has slumpy shoulders this makes it worse...
11. and salmon colored (flesh color) shorts. 
12. thanks for that crotch shot, sean. 
13. 110 flat, huh?
14. can't you handle these DD's and 110 lbs- dusty.
15. she's pulling the polygamist bump too. - sommer
16. why is she so casual when the other gals are always dressed for the club on the day date. 
17. that angle doesn't look like 110 lbs right there. -sommer.
18. does sean have a manicure?
19. so a private plane= princess in a castle. 
20. take note.
21. oh my goodness, she's driving me nuts. 
22. made her go first (out of the plane), nice! so he can check out the scenery.- bruggy.
23. "eye-rack?" i always thought that was the WT way that George W said it....
24. what is there to be petrified about?
25. "not saying nothin'" as it turns out, when you drive a jeep, all your grammar goes out the non-existant windows. 
26. the eye-racky doesn't do well in heat?- ali
27. this is worse than no date at all- dusty.
28. no thank you. desert vistas are not my idea of pretty. 
29. so is it a rule that every other episode has to include "extreme sports." 
30. is it a weird angle? this doesn't look scary. 
31. all he needs to say is 'i'll bet you one rose that you can get to the top of that!'
32. i went rock climbing on a date once and i nearly died. 
33. it wasn't fun. 
34. you look cute in your helmet = i love looking up your butt as i climb this. 
35. what happened? her xanax just kicked in and she's super spider now?
36. nice shot DIRECTLY down her clevage!
37. sweet O sounds, selma. 
38. now kiss at the top! come on!- dusty.
39. "felt on top of the world" "conquered my fears"
40. vim. 
41. implant all the way up to her chin.- sommer
42. when sean likes a girl, he goes glazey eyed and grins and uses a baby voice. 
43. this white trash locale reminds me of my friend, kelsey's amazing b-day party this year. 
44. so no food? just wine  and some trailers?
45. she is really stupid beautiful.. but she's rubbing me the wrong way. 
46. i just felt like i was destined to be the bachelor so it'd have been difficult if i'd married her- dusty.
47. sean really does get irrationally turned on by family stories. 
48. her "culture" would NOT have him. 
49. good thing she got her nose hairs waxed! these upshots are killing me- mom. 
50. who is that blonde? everyone else is in sweats and she is CAMERA READY with jewels and cleve!
51. tierra's face is priceless. 
52. does dc barbie only wear eyeliner and no lashes?
53. she won't kiss him on tv? 
54. but mom and dad are TOTALLY down with the cleavage shots. 
55. she's like, can we just go into the trailer and go at it? 
56. oh you know she's a freak when the cameras are off.- bruggy.
57. AAAAAHHHHH! i'm hearing Ben Taylor! please tell me he shows up live. 
58. now it's awkward that they're not kissing- dusty.
59. so, like, can they go at it under the blanket?
60. Ben drives me nuts. 
61. why do they all RUN when they get out of the car? - sommer.
62. rolling with the punches is a little bit of an awkward metaphor when you do not have use of both arms. 
63. roller derby would be my biggest nightmare. 
64. these roller derby girls make me nervous. 
65. sean got a spray tan!- sommer.
66. ben is a freak. sweet lie, girl. 
67. yeah, its you! you're in her head. 
68. she's just grinney and jovial... weirdo. 
69. why would they put the poor sarah on this date?! 
70. of course this is a physical hurdle!
71. she looks like barbara eden. 
72. i seriously can't believe they'd do this to her. this is humiliating. 
73. nice makeup touch up on sarah. 
74. ashLee is a dollface. 
75. it's kinda creepy the way he watches them. he's like bela karolyi choosing an olympic team. 
76. seriously, that pep talk from sean made her go back out? 
77. not cool. 
78. ben has the devil in her eyes- sommer.
79. i can see that girl stabbing you in the night with a fork. 
80. karma, girl. karma.
81. broken jaw is the best thing that could happen to that girl. 
82. "bye babe." gross. 
83. nice debrief, sean. nobody knew what had happened to amanda...
84. and by SEAN canceling the derby, you mean the producers. 
85. i'm gonna say this show is sexist! if this was the bachelorette, those guys would have to derby.- dusty
86. if you were the bachelor, wouldn't you tell random people that you're filming "sister wives?!"- dusty.
87. oooh sexy shoulder/ sexy sandy outfit. 
88. btwn tierra and ben, i wouldn't sleep at night . serial killers. 
89. so like, nothing happened?
90. oooh don't make me LAUGH!
91. oh at least she's honest about playing dirty. way to own it!
92. eeeeew. tonsils.
93. oh my gosh! i feel like she's on pain pills. -sommer.
94. the blonde with the white trash color is ALWAYS DECKED OUT for these casual house shots. 
95. i swear she brought 30 prom dresses for these shots- sommer.
96. tierra is nuts. 
97. and she needs to learn her angles. 
98. her legs look about 7x bigger like that. 
99. woah! this is a good meltdown, tierra. 
100. i'm loving her monologues! WHY?! why!?
101. robyn is really committed to that comb-over hair.
102. didn't she two minutes ago say that she was more mature than the other girls?- sommer.
103. why is sean macking on the wedding dress girl?! i can't get into her. 
104. oh no way! he's just taking off tiwht that girl in a bikini. 
105. ew. just waiting in the shadows for him?
106. this is so awkward... just go back up to the holding pen in your bikini and wait to be chosen. 
107. this is just an embarrassment to women.- mom.
108. he works these girls and tells them what they want to hear!- mom. 
109. this is the porn music. -sommer.
110. ew. look at his puppy face. 
111. it's not 'i like you".. it's "you like me." what a creep- sommer. 
112. woooah. those shorts were UP THERE. 
113. look at her face and that barely eyebrow (botox) lift! 
114. what sinister little cow!
115. oooh wow! the faces on the girls in the holding pen are priceless. 
116. what's with the layer combo on the confessional for sean?
117. he's not letting ANYBODY walk out on HIM! he's the one in charge- sean. 
118. "i just roller skated with one arm!/ i just broke my chin and he gave HER the rose!!!" - sommer
119. sweet prince charming car. 
120. who is STYLING HIM?!
121. the only thing that would be better is if he didn't have sleeves on that shirt. 
122. this pretty woman date is so awkward already. 
123. did they really walk into cache?! i've never seen such hideous dresses at badgley mischka.
124. i'd be like, i swear i just saw chanel down the block...
125. you've got pretty much everything except lipstick. 
126. can you imagine how furious you'd be if you had to freaking hike joshua tree and that girl comes home with diamonds?!
127. correction: borrows diamonds. 
128. do you really feel that special when you have to borrow diamonds?- sommer.
129. the necklace and earrings don't work with the dress at. all. 
130. this is awkward. 
131. this is just so uncomfortable. 
132. so she'll just pay off her gambling debt with those diamond earrings.- sommer.
133. no, the next reality show will be PAWN STARS.- sommer
134. he has spencer pratt facial hair. 
135. this is conversation FLOWING?!
136. no connection! finally!
137. woooah! this set up is going to cut like a knife!
138. ouch. 
139. why would he pick it up and hold it?- mom. 
140. she didn't even get dessert!
141. awkward to have to give that necklace back at that moment. 
142. nothing sexier than a mini-van chariot out. 
143. ooooh my goodness! just a solo ben taylor concert. 
144. i'd ditch sean and throw myself at ben. 
145. more ben! who cares about the confessionals!
146. this sade cover is doing me right, ben! yes!
147. he's reading a script right now- 
148. it's not complete without a bachelor  "jake pavelka-ing" over a balcony. 
149. you know he's going to drop that rose. 
150. aaand he did. 
151. tierra has dreadful taste in pretty much everything but most specifically, earrings. 
152. the colors are clashing btwn his shirt, face, and hair. 
153. he's going to have to keep robyn. he can't get rid of two black girls in one episode.-bruggy
154. ooh my gosh! we all just screamed EW! after that awkward kiss set up. 
155. that's a great color on tierra and a HORRIBLE dress. 
156. she's all drama. 
157. woof.
158. tierra has a 4 inch grandma cleve situation. 
159. ben is going to a Great Gatsby party. 
160. yes! a confrontation!
161. can sean take back roses?
162. "your bad for assuming that!" --- yesssss! that's an amazing line! keeping that in my bag of tricks!
163. why is jackie sitting thru this?
164. they needed a witness!- ali.
165. that was her "apology?"
166. she apologized that it was her bad.-dusty.
167. upshot on the thighs.- mom.
168. manipulaaaative. drunk.
169. tierra is always dealing in her hair. 
170. "tierra-ble" - awesome.
171. it looks like she has lip-gloss on her nose- sommer.
172. pass the powder!
173. sean, you're an idiot. 
174. everyone has the same spray tan. do they all just line up- sommer
175. like a 9th grade physical..-dusty
176. nothing distracts ME more than that interior design.-mom
177. where did that card come from? her hoo-ha?
178. he IS a manipulator! 
179. if there weren't 4 girls over there? .. there were 5.- ali
180. idiot.
181. can we walk together?? and smooch in the bushes?
182. or in the unobstructed driveway. 
183. he's so comfortable with everybody.- mom
184. if i had an ounce of tierra's confidence, i'd take over the world!
185. DC has vampire makeup!
186. des is adorbs. 
187. she has a bad part & bad bangs.- mom. 
188. i'm not into wedding dress girl. 
189. DC forgot to curl the back of her head. 
190. seriously? robyn? she didn't kill it with that horrible line?
191. oooh yeah, blondie. fix the hair. that'll improve things. 
192. ben is flaring her nostrils! oh wow!- sommer
193. jackie does 12 yr old girl makeup. but she's a gorgeous girl. looks like ariel. 
194. good call! got rid of the serial killer!!! 
195. the other girls must be thrilled!
196. the dress is not in her favor. 
197. no car? is she just walking home?- ali.
198. wait.. so he can't drive a clutch?
199. stop it. the brake is on.  

you guys.. next week? are you kidding me?! it's going to be so good. two night special? who is coming over?!