{ the bachelor } sean - won't you meet me in montana?

shockingly, dusty and sommer agreed to come back for more- as long as i promised there'd be no more dog tragedies.
woof.
literally.

this is half of our bach group. can't wait for tomorrow!

1. booooring! montana! after the european tour that emily and those ungrateful boys had? did they blow both season's budgets on that?
2. sarah is so elfin. 
3. chris is such a creeper-sommer.
4. does chris have 4 nipples?- adam.
5. ooh ok.. worldwide? as in like, such as, montana?
6. nice reaction, gals! way to give a "fiji" reaction.
7. how much did the state of montana pay for this placement?
8. what is that tourist bus?
9. just a cracked passenger window? classy.
10. tierra looks cute. too bad she's so nuts. 
11. nice bug swipe.
12. really selma? thank sean? oooor the producers? 
13. all 110 lbs of her is really excited- sommer.
14. "deserve" .. one of my least favorite words girls say re: love.
15. she's seriously crying over a 1 on 1? 
16. did they all pack flannel for the possible occasion?
17. they always layer the bachelors in such a crazy way. 
18. ooh a helicopter! a bachelor first, you guys! - adam. 
19. i hate that they make them go out and wave and watch them fly off. i mean , seriously! like they're thrilled about it. 
20. oh yeah! a head lean! you've been on the date for what? 15 min? and you're sleepy!
21. let's fly a helicopter and sit down! that's real outdoorsy.- sommer
22. those are producer pashminas after it was colder than they anticipated. 
23. yeah. that's romantic when your nose is running into your mouth. - sommer.
24. what was so incredible about their day? what did they do beside kiss on a blanket? 
25. she's so grovely. 
26. oooh yeah.. here's the family story turn-on section. 
27. who says "adolescent?" 
28. i'm not a fan of her highlights. chunky monkey and ashy. 
29. it's sad when the guy is more orange spray tanned than she is- sommer.
30. oooh here comes the V-neck! it's back! 
31. looks like chris is writing those date cards again.... writing of a 13 yr old girl.- adam.
32. why does ashLee have crazy eyes [in confessionals]- sommer.
33. super delicate wrist tat, wedding dress. klasssssy.
34. he just wants to jump her. 
35. sick! his hand looks like a dead mannequin behind her head. 
36. awkward concert moment with creeper extras. 
37. who is sara darling?!
38. i have a friend named sarah darling but that's not her. 
39. this girl is low hanging fruit for him. no challenge. 
40. sick. 
41. that's awkward. dry humping in the middle of everyone.- sommer.
42. and there's her crack. 
43. she smiles with her tongue out. - sommer.
44. he's so into her. 
45. this darling girl has full 2 song exposure! nice. 
46. "bad habit" is gonna be a hit in rehab weddings everywhere. 
47. what is this? the bachelor mixed with fear factor.-som
48. woah! selma! that's bold!
49. i'd be too worried that my run to monkey jump would flatline the poor guy like a linebacker.
50. are we over selma's ear warmer? it's so 5 yrs ago.- sommer.
51. goats milk is no big deal... i mean, not yum.. but not horrible.
52. sucks for the girl who drinks the milk and loses- som.
53. dc barbie has tooooo many accessories and things going on with that outfit. 
54. oh, come on! would you rather canoe?? with ONE ARM!
55. woooah, selma! hand actions! that's cool but you can't kiss him? 
56. chris has to commentate?- ali.
57. adam thinks robyn is going home tonight. 
58. selma is going back to her roots with that headpiece.-som
59. why can't those blue girls hustle?
60. poor sarah. can't she catch a physical challenge break?!
61. this is so gross how he just watches this happen. 
62. "touch your teammate."
63. oook.
64. the music is awfully dramatic for goat milking. 
65. poor goats have to be so spooked by these screaming ninnies. 
66. sick. the goat milk all over her face....
67. lezzzlie is just PISSED! 
68. catherine looks so much like my pretty friend, diane phaelen. 
69. des is adorable.
70. robyn's hair line is farther and farther over... it's almost to the ear. 
71. oooh ! chris! a twist!!!
72. does chris have mits? man-tits? they're a little perkier than a moob. 
73. oh no way! i'd be really bugged if i was the red team.
74. oooh what a twist! they must really be looking for something to do.- som
75. you guys... i just realized! we didn't get the usual waxed down topless workout shot!
76. i don't blame them for being bugged. 
77. sarah always sounds a bit baked. 
78. daniella always looks like a 1980's high school party girl. 
79. i'm dying to read tierra's journals! you KNOW that's a good read full of grammatical errors and dramatic threats!
80. selma got a lip job AND botox before montana!she can't move her mouth. that's fantastic!
81. so they DO get let out of the house- ali
82. i like that jacket on sean. did you notice that chris was wearing it in the earlier shots. 
83. stop it!!!! tierra is crashing in one of the girl's blue plaid? whose shirt did she steal? nice and sweaty and swampy and milky. 
84. awkward. nice dramatic cut. 
85. i hate when people cover your eyes from behind. 
86. she's batshit.
87. you're REAL, tierra? well i coulda sworn you were a robot sociopath which would have made me like you more. 
88. you're going to guilt-trip him into choosing you?
89. robyn  is crying??? 
90. she's a pity keep, anyway. she should be so happy she's even there. 
91. ash why, again, are we giving sean the credit for producer moves?
92. "like, soul connection." deep, ashes. deep.
93. which one of your crazy eyes are you seeing it with?- sommer.
94. oh jackie is going home. 
95. poetic, chris. poetic.
96. did she make him pick her up? i hate that. 
97. there is only one man i've ever dated who hasn't bugged me when he's picked me up. i liked it. 
98. but these monkey moves are bugging me. 
99. is she dry humping him? are there zipper sparks?
100. these girls need to watch their angles.... there are a lot of fat thigh shots. 
101. i'd hate to be the bach on nights like tonight. when the girls are all drunk and crying. 
102. she (daniella)  has a flat- mom butt.- daniella
103. she's like, "we're perfect for each other! we have the same color of hair!!! YELLOW!"- sommer.
104. is he really that big of a push over? if you cry, you get a rose?-dusty. 
105. yes. yes, he is.
106. this car ride is awkie.
107. oh my gosh! she is evil! like the fru-its of the de-vil. evil.
108. he looks good mounting that horse! yeeeah! that's important. 
109. poor jackie. 
110. jackie is on a date with me, my husband, and my bottle of prozac.. hahahaha.-adam. 
111. really, jackie? do you know who you're dealing with?
112. talking about the other girls is always everybody's demise.- som
113. i can see jackie in 15 yrs and 50 lbs being a pageant mom. 
114. she has a really cute nose. did she pay for that or is that real?
115.  it probably is.. i feel like everyone is blessed with at least one good feature.-som.
116. scarf off so he can see her cleve. 
117. we had a really good conversation... about someone else....
118. awkward silence.
119. nice dramatic music!!
120. good , sean! you're starting to clue in on tierra?
121. i love tierra's monologues. 
122. i should notate these for auditions! "i have the biggest heart...."
123. "being the type of person i am..."
124. she's always trying to push her agenda about how great she is.- mom. 
125. this is the perfect time to whip out a death & rehab double punch! perfect.
126. she's mastered the look down/look up after a sob story. 
127. look at jackie's face. 
128. she did the mckayla maroney!- ali
129. nooo waaay! 
130. everyone has a story! just ask kathie lee! she writes songs about it. 
131. he's an idiot. 
132. men are idiots. 
133. jackie's claws were just not long enough.- dusty.
134. and by "attach" you mean stage5-clinger, claws onto....
135. let's get it on, tierra! let's get it ON!- som.
136. sean, were you out setting up this special night for tierra? you gent!
137. do they honestly just sit around on the couch?-som
138. and wait for "something" to happen to some other girl. 
139. oooh jackie! your nails look so good for this crying scene!-som.
140. tierra is giving good villain soundbites! 
141. she must have poked her eyes with pine needles to drum up those firework tears.
142. i'm not feeling lez's look.
143. i love these dead animal shots with the howl.-som.
144. tre romantique. 
145. des is working that boob angle! she pushed those girls up!
146. nice move, des! snag his coat and leave your scent!
147. selma got botox and des got a boob job. did they get a plastic surgeon to come to the house?-som
148. you can pretty much guarantee that he's saying the SAME things to the other girls too... they all do.... (wish i had emoticons..)
149. don't ask for them to bitch about tierra cause you'll send her home if she does!
150. more dead animals!
151. it's symbolic about how they feel about each other. - mom.
152. nice knife dagger, des. 
153. and thanks for the hooter shot. 
154. nice, des. act shocked that she'd be offended. 
155. it's good that she carries her rose with her at all times. you know, maybe a bouncer will kick her out if she doesn't have it on her person?
156. yes robyn!! get in on it!
157. subtle eyeliner there, tierra. 
158. oooh dc barbie is getting in on it too!
159. the LOOKS (as they LOOK to each other).
160. do i ask myself questions? ABSOLUTELY.
161. tierra is a piece of work!
162. this girl is as bad as courtney!-dad.
163. yeah. same as courtney only one is short and fat and one is tall and skinny.-bruggy.
164. i like her "who cares!" cheerleading claps. 
165. oooh stinger talk with a sean walk by! as if that wasn't planned. 
166. sweet black panties, t. 
167. why doesn't he take a neutral person out for a talk to suss this out. 
168. tierra is the ultimate compliment giver... to herself.
169. ooh here we go. ask dc barbie... will she be political?
170. oooh we haven't seen the deliberation room in a coons age!
171. they have to put the names under the faces so he can remember them.-mom
172. doesn't sit "easily," huh?
173.  i wonder where all these girls get their earrings.. forever 21?- som. 
174. no surprise here. 
175. robyn looks like she's giving daggers!
176. oooh subtle expression, selma.
177. she's trying to do a different face but because of the botox she had no other option.-som.
178. i wish she had lipstick for this car ride confessional. 
179. they all got their nails did with the exact same color! 
180. bach insiders, do the beautifiers come to the house and just service them all. 
181. what kind of idiots get in freezing cold waters?!
182. neeeat! nothing sexier than oxygen up the nose. 
183. do these shorts make it appear that it's an ashlee/des/tierra game?
184. just skippin rocks and walking on the rails? what an ordinary outdoorsy dude!
185. yes! just split that wood!
186. this is going very well. 

oook... what are you thinking?