2.27.2014

{ the bachelor- juan pablo } " it's ok "


for those of you who take the bachelor seriously, this is not the review for you. we who understand tv, understand that these are edited "real" characters and anyone who believes that this "journey" is real, is just as delusional as juan pablo. 
most of these comments are a composite of a group of random people from all different belief systems and life experiences watching the episodes. a lot is exaggerated for a good laugh and it is worth it.  it is rare when i watch by myself. i understand and take responsibility for their comments and mine. they're all in good fun and in a spirit of analyzing male/female dynamics, fashion, and dating rituals. 
 if you disagree, plead your case. i love a good discussion with valid, considerate, points. 
like i've said a million times over, if you do not like me or the bachelor recaps, don't read this blog or those posts. keep it moving. write your own blog or go write on one of those neat hate forums. they really are whole, not-bitter, lovely spirits over there who will welcome you gladly. why take time in your life to be nasty? besitos. 

"it's ok."


  1. what is happening with that darted attempt at a havana shirt?
  2. are those pouffed sleeves?
  3. st. lucia is gorg. 
  4. you guys, maybe the secret to love connections is practicing your faces in the mirror, clare style. 
  5. which parts of the huts are "absolutely gorgeous?" sweet editing. 
  6. honestly, i need to practice my pouty face. 
  7. i like that she's "playing" hard to get. good tactic clare-bear.
  8. you know she was a bit disappointed to cruise around in that little skipper-she's really blossomed now that a yacht is in the picture. 
  9. nice up the butt shot.... yeow.
  10. she has her wedding nails on. 
  11. ok... this is a good time to talk about poor clare's sister. what was happening there? i was wondering if her mom speaks english.. or at all....that was very telling that the sister needed to call her out on attempting to manipulate her mother.... 
  12. notice the leg to foot color change. 
  13. hell, if i was on this show, i'd have spray tan/leg makeup as well. 
  14. those are some teeeeny bottoms, sis. 
  15. these two are SEX-u-AL. 
  16. clare is strategically in white.... 
  17. that dress is all wrong. she has the hottest bod and this isn't doing it for her. 
  18. asking for compliments= not sexy. 
  19. also, if we have a halter neckline, no necklace required. 
  20. she's basically changing her tune so he has to beg for it. 
  21. there is a lot to be learned from clare's manipulations. she's masterful. 
  22.  his hair is a mess.
  23. pouty faces with frozen foreheads. 
  24. baby voices and duck lips. 
  25. he is falling for this hook, line, and sinker. 
  26. men REALLY are that dumb. 
  27. he's just sweating. sexy.
  28. i like this cooler color on him. 
  29. i have been going about this all wrong. from here on out, i am practicing baby voices, manipulation, and sex faces. namaste. 
  30. we all know what happens in the water with these two. 
  31. ooooh you know how i feel about men in tank tops. 
  32. did he just wave like the Queen?
  33. i just like andi. 
  34. whyyyy does he always tiptoe with shoulders up and do caveman fist arms when he greets the girls?
  35. that dress... great color, cute back, not flattering. you just can't get away with tenty things. she has such a gorg body. 
  36. he speaks about her as if she's a cousin. 
  37. see? his arms are gorgeous but that TANK TOP!
  38. he's really cute with those kids. 
  39. any excuse to take his shirt off!
  40. i think andi's dad handled it perfectly. he gave an appropriately normal response. 
  41. dang it. that american apparel suit is dicey. her bod is slammin but it gives weird unflattering back fat lines...but man! those boobs are perky!
  42. are you worried for her watch in the waterfall? i am. 
  43. this DTR talk is boring. 
  44. she's darling. 
  45. that wave hair is dramatic. 
  46. what is his forearm tat?
  47. these poor  people! why can't they just be in air conditioning. 
  48. i'm so bored.
  49. but i like that they re setting her up to be so happy... what is going to happen!
  50. nothing says a sex bed like mosquito nets. 
  51. that is sooo pretty. 
  52. wow! he seems so happy. 
  53. woooooah. what happened... and that dress doesn't fit her. 
  54. oh no. this is  so good! what happened?! how could they have both felt so differently?!
  55. go girl. 
  56. this is the andi that i wish we would have seen on that photoshoot date. 
  57. i wanted her to stand up that point... and now she's doing it. good girl. 
  58. oooh i wish she had a bra on. 
  59. these ponder shots are pretty.
  60. those girls are too big not to be reined in. 
  61. this is SOOO different from the night before. he must have been a nightmare. 
  62. she seems so resolute. 
  63. she has a great profile. 
  64. jessica makes a great point.... she seems so authentic in this moment. 
  65. woah. so he has no idea! wow. 
  66. oh good. another tank top. 
  67. "i got to see clare in a bikini all day" ... and there you have it. 
  68. horseback riding in a bikini...
  69. you know her nipple is going to pop out- jess
  70. based on "honesty," huh?
  71. i'm totally nervous about her nips. 
  72. and that mic is just pulling it all down. 
  73. great smile pride, jp. 
  74. i know i'm hard on nikki's look but she was darling in her hometown date. great outfit choice. 
  75. i still would love a better hair color on her.... and no nubbin ring. 
  76. her family was very sweet. 
  77. he is so sunburned from 3 days of shooting. is there a skin cancer workmans comp clause? 
  78. she has a beautiful body. 
  79. dang that dress is wrong. 
  80. all these chicks are missing the mark 
  81. waaaait.. i thought he doesn't drink. 
  82. i sort of feel bummed out for nikki. he's so totally focused on clare. 
  83. i want the ball to drop for him about andi. 
  84. is he seriously wearing that pajama outfit to a rose ceremony? 
  85. so harrison has eyelash extensions now? and jp has pink lipgloss? 
  86. what is becoming of those boys?!
  87. yes, chris! go for the translation. 
  88. "mistressled." let's bring that back!
  89. aye! the personal videos always break my heart. 
  90. say it again..."i don know what i'm gonna do."
  91. rehearsed in the mirror with those head shakes. 
  92. she reminds me of a "my little pony." -jess
  93. drop the ball, andi!
  94. she looks like a million! look at that lighting. 
  95. finally! andi with a backbone!
  96. hot /bridal outfit andi. 
  97. man, her legs are gorgeous!
  98. woah, he's so dismissive. 
  99. there is no fight for this. 
  100. is this covering his pride?
  101. yes, andi. go for it. 
  102. when in doubt, blame your english. 
  103. litigate him, girl. 
  104. "barely" made it here. ouch!
  105. he just doesn't get it. 
  106. dang it. i liked him. 
  107. ugh. 
  108. and he doesn't know that about the other women either. 
  109. yes. catholic. 
  110. nalied him. 
  111. yes! passive aggressive. good. you and clare are perfect for each other. 
  112. yeah, well, why didn't she bring this up?
  113. that is actually a good point... she could have brought it up at that time as well.... 
  114. they're not a match. 
  115. i kind of understand the language translation issue... my dutch and i had a few translation issues. and it really hurt my feelings....but it wasn't intentional. 
  116. i think this dude just really isn't as into her. 
  117. woooooah. "maybe a little bit." oh my goodness. that is so unfeeling. 
  118. wait, what? she just did that and you're not crushed?
  119. oh what an ego!
  120. wow. he's revealing himself too much in this interview......
  121. yeow. 
  122. well she had better be the next bachelorette. 
  123. thank you! "there is a huge difference between being sincere and honest and offensive."
  124. oh andi. you are awesome. 
  125. of course you were shocked. you're an ego maniac. 
  126. i want a t-shirt that says "it's ok."
  127. you know clare is just dying of heat in that thick bandage dress. good thing it's stripper short. 
  128. the more "done up" these girls look, the older they look....
  129. c looks like an 80's barbie doll. - jess
  130. they must have brought in a makeup artist... these girls are looking much more polished. 
  131. hmmm. that's not all the truth, jp. 
  132. well, good... these two can have a showdown. 
  133. for all of clare's craziness, her blonde tint is right on for her skin. 
  134. he just gave her a back rub hug. like a pal. 
  135. are you guys kind of bummed out by these final two? 
  136. clare has boob sweat. case in point. 
  137. "she and i" not "her and i."
  138. i honestly don't trust either of these girls. 
  139. she has sweat dripping down her back. 
  140. women tell all is going to be a MESS!!
  141. i'm stoked about it. 
  142. "waiting to be done?' did she sex him?
  143. wow. i can't wait. 
  144. i don't really care who he ends up with, honestly. andi and renee were the only two women who felt substantial. 
what are you thinking?

10 comments:

the mom~ said...

totally agree!

Emily Foley said...

While Andi looked totally gorgeous (I would kill for that skin!) I'm on Juan Pablo's side here. He wasn't saying "It's ok that you're leaving I don't care that much." He was saying "OK." Meaning I hear you, that's what you want, go ahead and go. When my husband and I have a disagreement I don't say "So you felt hurt when I ______ and now you're upset that ______." That's not how communication works, at least for us (maybe it should?). You say "OK" in conversations not to hurt feelings but to show you heard and understood what the other person was saying. He was not dismissing her to hurt her feelings. He was acknowledging her. I could not stop yelling at the TV. He's probably an egomaniac (don't you have to be to date more than one woman (or man) at a time?) and she nailed him on the religion/social issues talk. But she was a raunch. I wouldn't want to date her. If I was a man, I mean.

Vandaman said...

Dude...don't you know what the Shift key is?

Elizabeth Bryant said...

Andi was a front-runner for me at the beginning but, I agree with you, Emily. I don't think he handled it perfectly but I thought she was so brutal and wouldn't just give him the benefit of the doubt that he was trying to make it as painless as possible (not to mention there were obviously some cultural/language differences in their conversation). If he's not right for her, fine. But I don't think she needed to harp on all his shortcomings to prove that she was "right" and he was in the wrong.

My husband and I have a lot of the same communication issues that Andi and JP were having in this situation and I kept thinking, "Ooooh! I understand how you're feeling!" and felt myself get frustrated with JP too because he wasn't showing as much emotion as I would have liked in her shoes. However, I feel like she was being just as unfeeling as she claimed he was in the fantasy suite the night before. Ugh. And it looks like the "Women Tell All" is really bad for her. Nobody likes a girl who can't be gracious about a break-up.

Ellie said...

so three things...
1- you can't be all nice about everything all the time. these girls really do need to get their act together if they're going to be on national tv. they signed up for this so people should realize their actions are fair game to criticize.
2- don't use the shift key like vandaman rudely commented. I love when you keep it all in the same case. that's how I wrote my first blog.
3- loving the reviews the past couple weeks!

Gillian said...

I CANNOT watch this show ever again without your commentary, so I hope you and your friends are in for the long haul!!!!

I loved Andi and I love her even more now that she left him. BUT--- I don't love that she tried to get him to feel bad that she left. You can't bleed a stone, Andi. It felt a little too needy. I wish she would have written adios on a soccer ball and kicked him in the head with it.

PS- I want to see an interview with Camilla's mom. I'm sure we'd find out just how "ok" he is.

The Popcorn Bowl said...

I do think there is some language barrier stuff with him, but I also think overwhelmingly he's just a narcissistic ding dong. Sorry if it's rude to say, he just doesn't come off as very intelligent. Or smart. And the "you just barely made the cut" was so wrong.

Love your recaps!

Heather Morgan said...

The above comment says it perfectly! And the only reason your comments are funny, and people like to read them, is because they're often brutal (but true). So whoever says you're being too critical needs to stop reading the internet. It's not like you're writing for ABC. And I wish Andi would've ripped him one a little harder. Not that I really think there was anything she could've said that would've made him feel an ounce of anything. He does seem to just be a complete narcissist. It's funny. About 5 minutes before Andi explained why the date went so wrong, I turned to my husband and said, "I think it is very telling that this ENTIRE TIME, Juan Pablo has never ONCE said how he thinks he could benefit one of these girls' lives. He has ONLY talked about whether or not they could benefit HIS and Camilla's lives." Narcissism at its finest. Also later in the show, talking about his hopes for whoever he chooses, he said, "she'll be married to me for the rest of MY life." Call it language barrier, but any normal person would've said "for the rest of HER life" and I think the fact that it was all about him was quite telling.

Kellee Marie Cook said...

Andi was my fave until this episode actually. I do agree that she had valid points but honestly I think she wanted Juan Pablo to be so upset about her not having a good night and try to win her back. And he didn't and I think that bugged her. So she went all DA on him and just laid into him. No doubt the guy is into himself (he's a pro soccer player and the Bachelor) but I don't think that justifies her ripping into him for as long as she did. She couldn't let it go.

Also, I think their relationship was over when he took her dancing and the girl couldn't move her hips! The Latin Lover needs a girl that can shake it! ;)

Anyways love your Bach comments.. I love them so keep them up!

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